about

Hi! I'm Linda. I would love to try to help you with advice about love and life. I can also try to help with Health: Mental issues in particular.

However, you can ask me anything. I believe in the value of honesty and I will do my best to be ethical, fair and genuine. xoxoxoxo

advice

[note: this will be long]

I'm 19/f he's 20/m.

I've been with my boyfriend for what will be 3 years in August and I love him very much. But sometimes I can't help but think things like what if another girl comes along that appeals to him and will take him away from me?

My boyfriend always reassures me that he will never cheat, and I believe him for the most part, it's just that I can't help thinking these morbid thoughts. He's a people person who gets along with everybody. But as you know some girls mistake being nice with flirting...and I'm afraid that his social skills might get him into trouble someday.

We don't live as close to each other and don't get the opportunity to see each other as often as we'd both like. He lives a half hour away and we only see each other on the weekends. I don't know if I'm being paranoid or what, but I've never thought such things before...why all of a sudden now?

Some say I'm just overreacting but sometimes I don't know what to think. I am a good girlfriend who's stuck by him through everything and supported him through his ambitions; I don't restrict him and let him go out with his guy friends; I'm moderately attractive; the sex is good...so odds of leaving me are very slim unless there is another part of a guy's standards that I'm not fulfilling? Even so, what can I do to banish these thoughts? And can someone tell me WHY am I even thinking such thoughts when I should have no reason to...?

Thanks!

-Devoted

Dear Devoted,
Funny thing about trust. It requires a little bit of faith. Also, a funny thing about thoughts, you begin to feel them and then you start acting them out. First thing, learn to control your thoughts. If your boyfriend is going to leave you, which judging by your letter, I don't believe he's planning on it, what you are thinking right now will drive him away faster than anything else. When you have these doubts, I don't believe it's him that you're worried about. You are doubting yourself. Try to do things and think thoughts that make you feel better about yourself. Wear clothes that make you feel comfortable, happy and good about yourself. Smile. Be friendly. Be positive, in your thoughts and your actions. Everybody has doubts, however, give yourself some credit. You sound like a great girlfriend and I'm sure he realizes it. Please, please, please, just make an effort not to act upon your doubts. Good luck!
Lindacht

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(Rating: 5) thanks for the advice. it's not that i act upon my doubts, it's just the fact that they exist is what bothers me! i don't know if it's based on my view of the typical male stereotype or not, but a lot of guys are shady. i guess i'm just afraid he'll turn out like that. thanks again though, it really made me think :) i appreciate it
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