About mylinhthan
[x][edit] - Since being on Advicenators there have been a lot of repetitive questions and innane ones at that. Because of this, I will not be answering as many questions as I had before. To put it simply, some people need to think for themselves. To learn things in life we have to fall down from our hardships, learn from them, and get to our feet again. People aren't just going to spoonfeed you on how to live your life.
To conclude, I'm a level-minded columnist who's not likely to judge. Although I may not understand some situations due to lack of experience, I am an understanding person and will do all I can to help. To people who are "not the brightest crayon in the box", I may appear blunt and brutally honest. Stupid questions deserve stupid answers.
And yes, stupid questions DO exist.
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Gender: Female
Location: Colorado
Occupation: Student
Age: 18
Member Since: February 22, 2005
Answers: 363
Last Update: December 11, 2009
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Ok, this might be kind of long but here goes...I have been going out with my boyfriend for 9 months, and we are really getting on eachothers nerves, we fight over little things a lot and its getting old. He's always by my side and following me, hes really clingingy and hes just getting annoying. Don't get me wrong, he is the best boyfriend I have ever had--literally--and the longest relationship, but I just want to be friends right now. I don't want any boyfriend at all, but I have issues with breaking up with people. I don't like to hurt people's feelings I hate makeing people feel bad or cry, and I need some ideas as to how I could break up with him, but let him know I still love him, we still have a very big chance, I just need a break and want to be friends for awhile?
I rate high to answers that don't offend or piss me off.
Thanks for you help.
anonymous -
I'm not sure if you saw that episode of "Friends" where Ross and Rachel went on a break, but that's what it sounds like you two need.
I know it may be hard, but lay it on him. You shouldn't proceed with a relationship if both parties are not happy. Sit down and have a talk with him (in person preferably, cuz on the phone he can hang up on you). First tell him about the fights you two have been having and that it's taken a big toll on you and that right now you just want to think things out. Tell him that you want a break from the relationship for a little bit (propose maybe a week at the minimum, and if you feel you need more time, just say so). Explain also the reason for why you want a break, and reassure him that it isn't a break up. Remind him that you two will still be together, but some limits will be set for your break time, depending on your preference (ranging from no communication, or limited communication *1-3 times a week*, no seeing each other, no saying i love you's and vice versa. whichever you feel comfortable with). Might I add a break usually makes the both of you realize things you've never thought about before whether it's discovering your true feelings for one another or whether the person is not right for you. Until you get your mind clear of your thoughts about him, then make a decision.
But remember that all relationships go through its trials and tribulations. The fact that you two are still together and are committed to each other enough to work things out says a lot, it heightens your compatability for each other.
I've been through the same with my boyfriend of nearly 3 years. Back in the day we used to fight everyday over silly things, and even then did it get really intense. But we really love each other to stay and work it out, regardless of how angry or mad we are at each other. We also promised each other to compromise rather than argue, and when disputes do occur, to keep things civil to avoid further conflict (we rarely fight to this day). If you decide to stay with him, establish this sort of agreement, it really works!
Keep that in mind hun! Think things through carefully before you take any drastic action!
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(Rating: 5)
Thanks, that helped a lot! Your my hero lol!
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