Am a bit of a wrinkly now (i was 24 on 4/9/05, but I had the best birthday I've ever had in my whole entire life!!!) but I know an awful of stuff about an awful lot of stuff!
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Mel xxx
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My friend cuts herself. And it really scares me she talks about killing herself sometimes. Like she thinks no one would miss her. Sometimes I wanna kill myself too but I realize how many people would miss me. But she doesn't seem to realize that. She doesn't cut herself often like she only did once but I am just scared it might become a habit. What should I do? And its not that serious enough to tell anybody yet and she would get really mad if I told anyone. I don't plan on doing anything until it gets worse like i see marks on her arms. What should I do to keep her happy and keep her not thinking about killing herself? I'm so scared right now please help me! I rate High and leave comments too! (link)
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Hi,
I know quite a bit about self harm as my brother used to cut himself too.
There are 3 Main types (this does not mean to say there are only 3)
The First is Affect regulation - These are self harmers that self harm as a tool for:
Escape from emptiness, depression, and feelings of unreality.
Easing tension.
Providing relief: when intense feelings build, self-injurers are overwhelmed and unable to cope. By causing pain, they reduce the level of emotional and physiological arousal to a bearable one.
Relieving anger: many self-injurers have enormous amounts of rage within. Afraid to express it outwardly, they injure themselves as a way of venting these feelings.
Escaping numbness: many of those who self-injure say they do it in order to feel something, to know that they're still alive.
Grounding in reality, as a way of dealing with feelings of depersonalization and dissociation
Maintaining a sense of security or feeling of uniqueness
Obtaining a feeling of euphoria
Preventing suicide
The second is Communication - These are self harmers that self harm as a tool for:
Expressing emotional pain they feel they cannot bear
Obtaining or maintaining influence over the behavior of others
Communicating to others the extent of their inner turmoil
Communicating a need for support
Expressing or repressing sexuality
Expressing or coping with feelings of alienation
Validating their emotional pain -- the wounds can serve as evidence that those feelings are real
The third main one is Control/Punishment: These are self harmers taht self harm as a tool for:
Continuing abusive patterns: self-injurers tend to have been abused as children.
Punishing oneself for being "bad"
Obtaining biochemical relief: there is some thought that adults who were repeatedly traumatized as children have a hard time returning to a "normal" baseline level of arousal and are, in some sense, addicted to crisis behavior. Self-harm can perpetuate this kind of crisis state
Diverting attention (inner or outer) from issues that are too painful to examine
Exerting a sense of control over one's body
Preventing something worse from happening
Each case of self harm is very very different and I would not be able to help any further from the little I know about his case.
The best advice I can give you is to go to http://www.palace.net/~llama/psych/injury.html
This is a fantastic site that supports friends/relatives and loved one of self injurers.
You will find a whole wealth of information here pertaining to self harm, there are suppport groups and lots of links to sites that may help your friend.
I wish you all the luck in the world and I hope that your friend gets better soon.
Take Care
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Rating: 3
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That was more like a book report than advice
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