I'm here to answer questions about sex and relationships. Everyone is welcome to ask anything that concerns you. I'll always answer with thoughtfulness and respect.
Member Since: November 27, 2004
Answers: 22
Last Update: December 2, 2004
Visitors: 6516
Main Categories:
Love Life
General Sex Questions
Families
View All
|
| |
|
Darrel, this guy I like, likes me back. Except...he's black, and I'm white. And my mom has already told me that she wouldn't support me if I were to date a black guy. Not because she's racist, but because of the "problems" it causes, and everyone will look at you differently. But she isn't going to forbid me from doing it, because she knows that I have to do what's right for me, not for her. And anyway, I think that the things that go along with dating a black person kind of are problems - other black guys will look at you and think, oh, she's into black guys, and other white people will look at you differently, and if they don't know Darrel they won't know what a sweet, funny, smart guy he is, and how he wouldn't ever get mixed up in the wrong crowd. But I think I might really like him. And it's wrong not to date someone just because they're black - that's racism! I guess what I'm trying to say is, I need some comfort and someone telling me what the right thing to do is, lol! Sorry about the long story, but I rate! (Oh, and I'm 14/f, by the way.) (link)
|
You are right when you say not dating a guy because of his race is racist. Your mom thinks she is looking out for your best interests by trying to keep you from being in a difficult relationship. This is pretty typical thinking-- other people will give you trouble for dating someone who is not the same race as you, therefore you, and everyone else, will be happier if you just stick to dating your own race. What's wrong with this thinking is a complete lack of responsibility. If we all had this attitude, think of all the advances in civil rights that would never have occured. It would have been "easier" to just look the other way and let racial injustice stay as it had always been. What would actually be better is if people who claim to not be racist would stand up, have some backbone, and say "Who cares what other people think. Racism is always wrong, and you should date the person you want to date." If your mom is worried about the trouble you will face from racists, the answer isn't to discourage you from dating a black guy. The answer is for her and you to get involved in the fight to stop racism.
Don't worry what other people think about you. There are a lot of small-minded people in the world who will always have something bad to say about the person you are with. What is important is for you to stay true to your values. Date someone because you like him, not because of the color of his skin.
|
|
Rating: 5
| |
Wow. That was really impressive, and very true. It made me think, and brought up a lot of good points. It takes a lot for me to give someone a full 5 for their advice, so kudos for you! :)
|
|