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ok i dunno if i like this poem i wrote can you guys help me

Checking my pulse:
checking my pulse
trying to see if i'm alive
as i lay here
me sweat making my hair stick to my face
my heart pounding
my stomach spinning
checking my pulse
becuase i just told you
how i feel
i feel as if i've been lifted away
into a world unknown to me
into a world lead by you

Do you want my honest opinion?
I thought it was amazing! Wow! At first I was like why the hell is she checking her pulse... but it all adds up in the end. Thats great, keep doing it!! Good luck with your writing!

LoVe,
HeAtHeR!! *Rate me please!*

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(Rating: 5) thanks yeah the checking my pulse thing was what worried me
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