I'm a fourteen year old girl from California. I'm a rabid liberal/feminist an a writer. I've been through cutting, and I'll try not to give bad advice. Ask me whatever you like . . . I'm not so good on romance questions, with a lack of any significant experience, but I'm good on everything else.
Gender: Female
Age: 14
Yahoo: lynx_wings
Member Since: May 12, 2004
Answers: 229
Last Update: October 17, 2004
Visitors: 19321
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Emotions
I feel as if i'm outside myself watching life. It feels so stange, like a cat in new land.
YOu think I have no emotion, then you don't know me. If you could understand me, just listen you can hear my thoughts. The volume is always hight never quiet.
my smile is automatic, like a machine programed.
I want to tell you more, I want you to understand.
I don't know who I am. Too many voices. too many emotions.
I feel so lost! No one understands. I'm so insecure just waiting for your secure.
I reach out, I yell but my arms don't move not a sound escapes my mouth.
I'm so alone, So many voices, so many emotions....
Copyright ©2004 Kathleen Janette Bare
Is this a good poem? Let me know. I just wrote it.
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It's pretty damn good! It does need some editing, though. "I feel so lost!" just doesn't seem to fit. Also, I think you need to go over this and fix some of the grammar. It's poetry, so you can get away with incorrect grammar (artistic licence!) but you don't want to put in any nasty grammatical mistakes that you don't know about.
Put it on fictionpress.com or submit it to one of the contests on poetry.com.
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Rating: 5
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Thanks, Your right that "I feel so lost" doesn't fit. Thanks again.
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