I'm 16 F and I've never had a boyfriend. I know some of you might say, "Don't worry! When the time comes, it comes.." The problem is that I hang out with a bunch of preps..and all my friends have already had boyfriends..:-( I'm the only one out of that group that's never had a close relationship with guys! It's kinda sad..if you ask me! The question is..how can I get guys to notice me..what can i do to make myself look prettier (I'm pretty ugly compared to the other girls)..How can I start convos with guys..it's already hard enough to talk to girls! Thanks

I'm going to give you advice I have given to many other people. This is something everyone that wants a boyfriend should hear. Prep or no prep.

You don't have to worry about being lonely for the rest of your life! You are only sixteen. You have plenty of time to find your soul mate. But the first step you need to take is to love yourself and not worry about what people think about you.

My brother is twenty three and he still hasn't found love. I'm not sure if he ever will because he pushes away everything and thinks marriage is stupid. That doesn't mean his life is worthless. You don't have to get married just to be happy. There are many people out there that are not married. Your life doesn't have to revolve around a man. And if you have excellent friends you can live life happily without being tied down to a guy.

So whether you find someone or not, you will be happy, as long as you try to be and work for it.

My point is, everyone has a boyfriend or girlfriend at different times. Even though it may feel like you're the only person "lonely and single", believe me, lots of other people are too.

So the solution is to stop wanting a boyfriend. We make ourselves suffer only because we want things and because we are selfish. If we put those selfish wants aside, they will come to us when they come and you don't need to mope around all day waiting for it.

Nobody "needs" a boyfriend. Heck, we could go through life without one. Don't be a dependant person. Enjoy life single while you can. A girl doesn't need a man just to be happy. If you kept yourself happy and surrounded yourself with awesome friends, you wouldn't worry about getting a man all day long. There are many things in life we can achieve and they don't require having a man by your side.

Being desperate for a boyfriend is not a good thing. You know why? Because it makes your judgement cloudy. You'll probably say yes to any old guy that asks you out. That's bad because you want someone special. Which is exactly why you should just let life take its course and wait for the perfect guy to roll along.

And if he never comes, so what? The truth is, not everyone finds love. But that doesn't mean your life is worthless. Your life is what you make it. So make life great.

It's hard not having a boyfriend when everyone else has a guy kissing them or hugging them. But you have to realize it'll happen to you someday. When you see your friends with their boyfriends, just think about how you might be like that some day with YOUR boyfriend. And when they talk to you about how great things are, just think to yourself it might be like that when you have a boyfriend.

As for making yourself "prettier" I will not give you fashion tips or whatever. A pretty girl is a girl that is confident and happy. That makes her radient. Not tons of eye shadow to cover your face or whatever. You can get more guys to notice you just by talking to them. Be a good friend. That's the easiest way. Conversations are hard to start sometimes, but just say whatever you think. The weather is odd, my math teacher sucks, my most embarrassing moment, my family does blah blah, every weekend blah blah, did you see that movie, what are your thoughts on this, etc etc. Many things to talk about, you just gotta pull them out of your brain.

Just be yourself and be happy.

The reason we get embarrassed is because we care too much about what other people think. So the answer is to simply care less about what people think. Simple answer, but it doesn't mean it is simple to accomplish. Take it one step at a time. When something embarrasses you, just take a deep breath, count to ten maybe, try to laugh at yourself, etc. And when you get embarrassed think about how it will really affect you in the LONG run.

Examples:

-You trip in front of every one.
-People forget things so easily. They'll forget your little accident in no time. How will this affect your life later? It won't. And if you still remember this incident in the long run, you'll be able to laugh at yourself.

-You say a stupid answer to the teacher's question in front of everyone.
-Like I said before, people have bad memories. It doesn't affect your life later, and you'll be able to laugh at yourself, even if not everyone forgets it. Plus, you learn from your mistakes.

-You talk to a really cute guy and the back of your skirt is actually stuck in your underwear.
-If he thinks you're an idiot, that crosses off another jerk on your guy list. See? That's a good thing. And if he still likes you and thinks you're a cute dork, you've definitely scored.

See, in every situation, there's a good side. And even if there's absolutely no good side, it won't really affect you in the long run. Just think about that.

Just search "myspace layouts" on google, and other search engines. It works. I don't use myspace, but I looked for some layouts and found a few right off the bat.

http://www.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=2990515&Mytoken=20040806183459
http://www.createblog.com/skins/index.php?type_id=3
http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.ListAll&friendID=8191370&Mytoken=20050506161728

I straighten my hair chemically. Lucky for me though, my mom is a hair stylist. So for me, it's technically free. lol. So I can't really help you on the price, but I would say it costs more than a hundred dollars (professionally done). My mom did the straightening perm. on her last client for like 200-300 dollars. It might be cheaper elsewhere since my mom charges more because she doesn't like straightening hair (too much work).

I definitely do not recommend you to do it at home. Most likely if you have someone else do it for you at home, the product will be really bad for your hair, and the person doing your hair might screw it up accidentally. It's best to have someone professional do your hair with professional products, that way you'll avoid problems and it won't totally kill your hair. Trust me, it won't kill your hair if you get it professionally done with professional products. If you can't tell by now, I keep emphasizing that part. My hair is long, super straight, shiny, and healthy! So that's why I keep emphasizing that.

About how long it lasts...it depends on how curly/wavy your hair is and what product you're using. For me it took more than four hours, and my hair isn't that bad, just puffy and kinda wavy. For me, I had lots of sitting around and waiting time. So it might be a good idea to look at magazines or a book.

If you get it done professionally, it shouldn't hurt. It might burn or itch a little, but you'll barely notice it. Your hair stylist will probably check on you to see if you feel any burning or itching, so just be sure to let them know what you're feeling. The chemicals might make your hair a little lighter, if you don't mind. Mine used to be like jet black, and now it's kinda dark brown. I don't mind though, I think it's cool lol. You can see my picture on my advice column.

Oh yeah, and I almost forgot. I get my hair retouched every six months. Six months doesn't sound that great, but compared to having to use a straightener and blow drying my hair every day...six months is awesome! The perm will last forever, but of course, you need to get it retouched because your hair keeps on growing out ;p

Hope your hair turns out great!

Just search "myspace layouts" on google, and other search engines. It works. I don't use myspace, but I looked for some layouts and found a few right off the bat.

http://www.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=2990515&Mytoken=20040806183459
http://www.createblog.com/skins/index.php?type_id=3
http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.ListAll&friendID=8191370&Mytoken=20050506161728

Hello there. Lol, I thought I pretty much said everything in the comment I left in your feedback. To sum it up, yes your advice helped, and life isn't all that great, but at least I'm not depressed anymore. For more details, go re-read my comment in your feedback. lol. Keep in touch.

You don't have to worry about being lonely for the rest of your life! You are only sixteen. You have plenty of time to find your soul mate. But the first step you need to take is to love yourself and not worry about what people think about you.

My brother is twenty three and he still hasn't found love. I'm not sure if he ever will because he pushes away everything and thinks marriage is stupid. That doesn't mean his life is worthless. You don't have to get married just to be happy. There are many people out there that are not married. Your life doesn't have to revolve around a man. And if you have excellent friends you can live life happily without being tied down to a guy.

So whether you find someone or not, you will be happy, as long as you try to be and work for it.

My point is, everyone has a boyfriend or girlfriend at different times. Even though it may feel like you're the only person "lonely and single", believe me, lots of other people are too.

So the solution is to stop wanting a boyfriend. We make ourselves suffer only because we want things and because we are selfish. If we put those selfish wants aside, they will come to us when they come and you don't need to mope around all day waiting for it.

Nobody "needs" a boyfriend. Heck, we could go through life without one. Don't be a dependant person. Enjoy life single while you can. A girl doesn't need a man just to be happy. If you kept yourself happy and surrounded yourself with awesome friends, you wouldn't worry about getting a man all day long. There are many things in life we can achieve and they don't require having a man by your side.

Being desperate for a boyfriend is not a good thing. You know why? Because it makes your judgement cloudy. You'll probably say yes to any old guy that asks you out. That's bad because you want someone special. Which is exactly why you should just let life take its course and wait for the perfect guy to roll along.

And if he never comes, so what? The truth is, not everyone finds love. But that doesn't mean your life is worthless. Your life is what you make it. So make life great.

Most parents are overprotective, so we all know how you feel. Just remember, no matter how stupid it seems, that the only reason your dad is being so harsh is because he loves you.

What can you do about your dad being so overprotective?

Of course, a big sit down and talk with him will help. Explain to him how you feel...calmly. Yes, calmly. Shouting or getting angry will just make things worse, trust me. Of course, don't think that a simple talk will completely change your dad's mind. That's probably not likely to happen.

What you need to do now is show him you are mature. Help out around the house, etc. Also, you can strike up deals with him. For example: If he lets you go out to the movies with your friends, you'll be home by 6 PM. Things like that. And as time goes on he'll see you are mature and he'll be more lenient with you.

Another thing you could try is asking him to get you a cell phone. That way, he could know where you are and you'll always be just a phone call away. Sure, it might be annoying to have your dad always calling you and you calling him, but don't you think it's better than him following you every where and not letting you go out?

Remember, NEVER (Maybe one or two times is okay...) disobey him or do things behind his back. This is because it only makes things worse. It'll delay your freedom even more and it'll lose the little trust your dad had in you. Your dad loves you, don't disappoint him. Good luck!

It's definitely not wrong to like him. By all means, go ahead and keep on crushing on him.

There are obstacles you'll have to overcome though.

I'm not trying to bring you down or whatever. I'm only giving you things to think about so you can decide on your own.

He's a fifth grader. He's probably into girls now, but just be aware he might not be very mature. Boys your own age are immature enough already. Imagine how a boy three years younger is!

If you ever ask him out, be ready for the teasing. If you plan to go out with him and hide the fact from everyone else, it's best not to go out with him at all. Why? Because you shouldn't feel ashamed and embarrassed of the person you have strong feeligns for.

If you truely like the guy, go for it. Ignore what anyone else says. If you decide not go to out with him, that's alright. Once you move from "the middle of nowhere" you'll find that there are lots of other charming dudes out there. Dating is about trying things out, finding out what you want, and bonding with someone. If things don't work out, you move on and life life. Good luck!

It totally depends on you. I can't choose for you, but I'll try and give you some options and reasons.

I don't think anyone likes a long distance relationship. It's really hard because they are so far away.

If you really love him a lot and you really do know him, you will not worry about who he meets. Love is based on trust, and you can't worry about these little things all the time. Sometimes distance can bring a relationship even closer. Weird, but true. How? The distance can make the both of you realize how much you really love each other. The distance can prove that the two of you are truely faithful to each other. Things like that.

This partly depends on your age. If you think you can get through this situation until you are able to move in together or something, you should hold on. If that option is out of reach (for example, you have like 5 years until you would be able to move in together, etc), then you should break up with him. He doesn't have to be your everything. There will be another out there for you. Another thing about age is if you guys are too young to handle this type of thing, he might cheat on you (hormones), or it might cause some emotional problems, or something. That's why including your age helps sometimes.

The thing about long distance relationships is that you won't be seeing each other much. This can be really hard to deal with. Heck, lots of couples miss each other, even if it's just for a weekend. If you decide this long distance relationship can't work out, just break up with him gently. It's best to either break up with him now than wait because the longer you wait the more it will hurt.

Dating is all about trying things out, finding out what you want, and bonding with someone. If things don't work out, you just move on and live life. Good luck!

I answered a question somewhat like yours. I'm sure you'd like to hear it...so here it is again:


You are the only one that can make yourself do what needs to be done. You could set up daily, weekly, and monthly goals for yourself. Pin 'em up on your mirror, etc so you see them every day.

You can make a daily schedule for yourself and follow that. For example: Finish homework before 8:00 PM so you can log on to the computer. If you don't finish by then, you can't do fun stuff.

A tip is to never make goals, schedules, etc way out of your reach. Make them so that you ARE able to accomplish them if you try. Making goals you can never accomplish will just discourage you and you'll never get anything done.

Pull out your grades and take a look. If you haven't been doing too well, that'll motivate you to work harder. If you've been doing alright, that'll motivate you to do even better. If you're doing excellent, that'll motivate you to keep it up.

Set up study dates with your buddies. You guys can study together and get a soda after you're done. It's productive, and fun too!

I'm sure there are plenty of other ideas to get you going. You'll just have to think of them yourself. Remember that if you don't change now, you'll never change later. As you get older, it's harder to change. So start setting good habits now. Procrastinating will be even harder to deal with when you're older. Good luck on your finals and good luck with...life!

Lol...freshmanitis? I don't think being lazy is just for freshmen...it's for sophomores, juniors, seniors, and older people too! lol.

Of course you don't want to. Most of us (normal people :P) don't want to! You are the only one that can make yourself do what needs to be done. You could set up daily, weekly, and monthly goals for yourself. Pin 'em up on your mirror, etc so you see them every day.

You can make a daily schedule for yourself and follow that. For example: Finish homework before 8:00 PM so you can log on to the computer. If you don't finish by then, you can't do fun stuff.

A tip is to never make goals, schedules, etc way out of your reach. Make them so that you ARE able to accomplish them if you try. Making goals you can never accomplish will just discourage you and you'll never get anything done.

Pull out your grades and take a look. If you haven't been doing too well, that'll motivate you to work harder. If you've been doing alright, that'll motivate you to do even better. If you're doing excellent, that'll motivate you to keep it up.

Set up study dates with your buddies. You guys can study together and get a soda after you're done. It's productive, and fun too!

I'm sure there are plenty of other ideas to get you going. You'll just have to think of them yourself. Remember that if you don't change now, you'll never change later. As you get older, it's harder to change. So start setting good habits now. Procrastinating will be even harder to deal with when you're older. Good luck on your finals and good luck with...life!

It's only been two weeks...and you've only been out three times. You can't expect him to kiss you right away! Everyone is different and it completely depends on the person whether they're ready to kiss or not. My boyfriend and I didn't kiss until like, two or three months after we went out. Totally depends.

He might not have kissed you yet because 1) He is nervous. 2) He is not ready for kissing until you two go out longer. 3) He just never really thought about kissing yet.

Maybe you should just kiss him yourself. I mean, you're the one that wants it. So just go for it. I've answered a question before and it might be of some use to you. Check it out: http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=308815

If he is nervous, or something, you need to be gentle with him...let him take his time and don't pressure him into anything. Guys can be nervous, scared, and not ready too (just like girls), you know. Different people have different opinions on when it is okay to kiss. Good luck!

Probably not. The good thing is, he'll never REALLY know unless he asked you straight up. And even if he did find out it was your first kiss, he might be flattered that he gave you your first. As long as you don't bump noses, or bite his lip, or slobber all over him, etc, he won't know. You'll be fine I'm sure. Just relax and use common sense. Good luck!

I hate it when people say "Go with it" or "Just do it". So I'll be nice and help you out. When you kiss put your arms somewhere...like on his shoulders, around his waist, on his neck, on his back, your hands through his hair, whatever.

Start the kiss closed mouthed; just leave your mouth closed, tilt your head the other way slightly just so your noses won't bump, close your eyes if you wish, and give his lips a peck. It doesn't matter if your top lip is on top of his top lip or if your top lip is on the bottom of his top lip. lol.

Then open your mouth a little when your lips are touching his, his mouth will open up automatically too. He'll either put his tongue in your mouth first or you'll put yours in his. You don't need to worry about how big to open your mouth because once you use your tongue your mouth will automatically open big enough. Tilt your head even more so your lips are locked when you french kiss...this will keep the drool from going every where...lol.

Once you touch his tongue it's all up to you. If you don't know what to do, I'm sure he will lead and you'll see how to do it. You just move your tongue around and "explore" or "massage" his tongue. If you ever run out of things to do with your tongue, you can spell out some letters with your tongue on his. lol.

And if you need even more tips, just search "french kissing" on google. Plenty of results will pop up. Have fun!

Well, sperm dies when it isn't hot enough. Sperm only lives in warm temperatures. That's the main reason girls have vaginas, so sperm can survive and swim to fertilize the egg. That's funny because most people don't even know the purpose of a vagina...just that it's for pleasure.

So...she probably won't get pregnant unless the water temperature is really high.

Should you wear a condom? Yes. Are you forced to wear a condom? No.

Worrying about getting someone pregnant is one thing. But it's the future now and now that we know about STDs and all of that bad stuff we have other worries...not just getting someone pregnant. I don't think you'd want to put your girl at risk, or you at least don't want to put yourself at risk. HIV/AIDs can not be cured once you have it. No, I'm not telling you what to do. I'm just warning you of the risks there are. Do what you want to do. It's not my problem and I'm glad.

You can find the code for different types of music players at http://createblog.com and there are other codes there also in case you have other Xanga needs.

Plenty of people don't have boyfriends when they're 14. I didn't have a boyfriend until this year (I'm 15). My friends don't have boyfriends/girlfriends. My brother is 23 and he's never had a girlfriend. My point is, everyone has a boyfriend or girlfriend at different times. Even though it may feel like you're the only person "lonely and single", believe me, lots of other people are too.

So the solution is to stop wanting a boyfriend. We make ourselves suffer only because we want things and because we are selfish. If we put those selfish wants aside, they will come to us when they come and you don't need to mope around all day waiting for it.

Nobody "needs" a boyfriend. Heck, we could go through life without one. Don't be a dependant person. Enjoy life single while you can. A girl doesn't need a man just to be happy. If you kept yourself happy and surrounded yourself with awesome friends, you wouldn't worry about getting a man all day long. There are many things in life we can achieve and they don't require having a man by your side.

And another thing...why don't YOU ask a guy out? It's modern times now and having a girl ask out a guy will not shun you from this society. You probably answered my question by going "Well...I don't like anyone enough to ask them out." That's probably how other people feel. They're not asking you out because they don't know you and therefore they aren't attracted to you. How do you solve this problem? Get out there, meet new guys, and get to know them better.

Being desperate for a boyfriend is not a good thing. You know why? Because it makes your judgement cloudy. You'll probably say yes to any old guy that asks you out. That's bad because you want someone special. Which is exactly why you should just let life take its course and wait for the perfect guy to roll along.

And if he never comes, so what? The truth is, not everyone finds love. But that doesn't mean your life is worthless. Your life is what you make it. So make life great.

I know this probably won't help you much, but I just wanted to tell you this anyway. People usually don't hire anyone under 16 because of child labor laws. Even if you are 16, there are laws that don't the 16 year old to work more than a certain number of hours a day. If it's like that for a 16 year old, you can imagine how hard it would be for a 13 year old to get a job. The only jobs you'll probably qualify for are jobs from your family or neighbors. Maybe some place will hire you, but only for something easy that doesn't pay much. You're thirteen and young...enjoy not being forced to get a job for now =b

Most of your friends may be virgins, but that doesn't mean everyone else has already sex. There are many people out there that are virgins. Wanting sex is normal. Hormones go crazy when you're a teenager. "Giving in" to it is NOT okay. You probably know this, but let me remind you. There is no 100% way to avoid the risks unless you do not have sex. Sex can put you at risk for pregnancy and/or HIV/AIDs. And let me tell you something, neither one can be "fixed". A baby will be YOUR responsibility. Even if you choose to have an abortion, that memory will stay with you forever. HIV/AIDs cannot be cured. I repeat, they cannot be cured. You can pass them on to other people and to your baby, if you ever have one. I don't think you would want that to happen either.

If you totally can't hold back...masturbate! It'll calm down your urges and you won't be at risks.

Those were facts. Now this is opinion, but I want you to consider my point of view. Do not have sex until you are married. Sounds crazy, but totally worth it. You won't get pregnant when you would much rather take care of yourself. You won't catch those horrible STDs. And you will be saving something special for your spouse. Think of it this way: Would you like your spouse to have had sex with lots of other people before they married you (And have the possibility of having diseases)? I think not. I would think they would feel the same about you.

Just think about what I said. Good luck.