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Am I a Perfectionist?
Hi. I've been having this problem for a while now, so I figured it was time to ask for help. School just got back into session, and I've begun noticing this issue more and more. I think I'm a perfectionist, and I need help. I have been in gifted classes since third grade, so that might have contributed to it. I'm a straight A student and I am at the near too of my class, but when I get a score back, specifically in reading and math classes, if the score isn't perfect of near perfect I can't help but feeling and calling myself stupid. I feel like a always have to be perfect, and I can't ever let my guard down. I feel like I can't be last at anything I do, like I always have to be perfect and it's tiring. I've had people tell me to just stop trying so hard, but that's impossible for me. Its like second nature, like perfect is a personality traits for me and I have to uphold it. I always feel like I owe people something, or like I can't show people my emotions. I'm afraid to ask for help sometimes and I'm afraid my own mind is turning me into some kind of robot. I hate it. I don't want to consult a doctor, but I really want to know what's going on. Has anyone gone through similar things or know what I can do to help it? Is there a medical name for what im going through? Is this a type of OCD or is there a specific name for it? Please help!
Thanks!
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Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
I am no expert and no one on here is but I had smething in childhood through HS, social anxiety. Instead of trying to overcompensate to be sure I had friends, or impressed people, I did nothing and waited for others to want to befriend me. I have been healed of this and its one of the things a person can learn to overcome on their own without seeing a doctor.
Alater in life, in my thirties, after I overcame the anxiety in my 18th year, I discovered there was still something I had to overcome. In my case, I wasn't afraid to do something different that no one else was doing, fear no longer held me back but my thoughts as I did so were consumed with how other people would see me, what they would be thinking of me, whether they would approve or not, etc. I won't go into how I learned this and the circumstances but If you want to know, just refer to it and ask me in a message written from my column, Dragonflymagic.
I have discovered that people my age 60 and younger and older, still have not learned how to stop worrying about what others think. Most hold back and won't even approach some to talk or ask for help and others like you do the opposite thin, instead of holding back, you overachieve. However it looks to me like the root of both behaviors is wanting to impress people, caring too much about getting your self worth from others. I also had low self esteem when younger. From my past experiences, I still believe in many cases that issues like yours or mine in the past, could also be linked to a self image problem, one of which is related to how we see ourselves, and we are the hardest and most critical of ourselves. I even experienced a short phase of that before overcoming my past issues.
I can say that there is something that might help. I learned what I know about overcoming my past issues by reading books written by a psychologist who used to believe only meds help people. Now he teaches CBT, cognitive behavioral therapy, which is needed because in most people, around 90% they do not needs meds because it isn't a problem with something in the brain, how they were born but rather something called distorted thinking. I believe distorted thinking is what leads to so many of the mental health issues of today, and things like Phobias as well as depression and so on. So I encourage you to check out the website of this Dr. Perhaps you can ask a question as to which of his books would be best for what you battle with, perfectionism. The site is here:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Good luck!
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