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Boyfriend introduced me by wrong name
Hi,
Yesterday at church my boyfriend of 6 months introduced me to another member of the congregation by the wrong name.
The name he used is that of another woman in the church who calls him every day to check on him
His wife passed away 2 years ago and he has some medical issues.
I am upset that he used the wrong name
and equally upset that the woman calls him every day . He apologized but i wonder if im wasting my time Thank you
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I have the most wonderful 2nd husband I could ever have wished for. It is our 2nd marriage for both of us so we have a past. Everyone has a past, including your boyfriend. So occasional slips of the mind and using the wrong name is no indicator of devotion to you. In my case, we are getting older and our minds forgetful and the tendency to use to wrong words also increases. I have no doubt because of his consistent actions that he actually cherishes me as vows talk about and is still in love with me after ten years however in the last year, he has increasingly not had his brain in gear when telling someone a story in which he uses his wifes name. I'll make up the names for an example, "I understand what you're saying Paul, Beth used to do the same thing when we were first married." I am right there listening and I know its not me he's talking about so for the other persons sake I bring it to his attention. "You mean Lori, not me." "Yeah, right, thanks" and he goes on with his story. He doesn't feel bad and I am not jealous.
In your case, you are just starting out a relationship, 6 mos in. I don't know is his behavior, and the things he does for you that you could do for yourself, are often enough to see a pattern and have it confirmed by his actions that he's crazy about you or already in love with you. If his wife passed away, that is not like a divorce if it was a good marriage. He will likely miss her and continue to think of her and maybe even wish to tell stories about her. My husband has told me stories of his ex. When it comes to cooking, her skills outpass mine but in all other things, I wonder how he managed since she is a needy person(my words not his) from the stories I've heard. A man is not going to love a new woman because she is exactly the same as the last. If the relationship was great, there will be s few things the same possibly, but in general, he will have learned to admire traits that are yours alone, stuff he didn't have in the last wife. Or if it was a bad relationship, a man would be settling for less to find a gal the same as the last. Hopefully he learned something during the last relationship and not only improved as a human himself but realized there must be something better. Many do not start dating again once a mate dies or they divorced a bad person. If a person is willing to date again after such circumstances, they are most likely social people and have a lot of love left to give. A slip of the mind and using another persons name is no proof that you are not important . Heck when I was a young Mom I wanted to call my youngest daughter and ended up using all her sisters names before I got to hers. Of course, back then my mind was sharper and I caught my error, only to use another wrong name before getting it right. Sometimes when people get older and forgetfulness can start earlier than what we think of old age, this kind is issue means we won't catch our own errors of using the wrong name. So it is far more important to watch him for his behavior towards you, 24/7. Is he one person at church and totally different away from church, a gentlemen in public, but when at home, he acts more like a controller or dictator with you. Does he treat you as if you are precious to him, treat you like a princess, and I don't mean by buying expensive gifts.
Now as for this woman calling him every day, That is a bit excessive, although I do understand how a past female can want to call an ex, or a close male friend. In my case, the ex lives in the boonies, no neighbors around close and she works long hours and only has herself for company, So like when her dog died, she was so upset she had to talk to someone about it and he was the one she called. He cares about her as a person, like you would care about your neighbor but he for sure doesn't like when she calls because she is basicaly very needy, a bit of a mental case and also drinks heavily. She has called to talk to me if she couldn't reach him and if drunk has called him all kinds of names, how terrible a person he is and yet not a word she speaks of him is true for our relationship. If it truly is every day, I would ask him to let her know that he doesn't mind a call once a week but every day is too much as he is a busy person. And the only other thing he can do is just not answer most those calls. Thats what my husband does. Aren't you going to answer it I ask. Nope, its Lori, and I don't want to spend the next hour listening to her complaints. Your guy may be willing to help her out in such a way. Don't be jealous and assume its bad. Just ask him what she called about. If he can share some of the stuff she says, only then will you be able to see a pattern. In my case, she is so needy that the their one daughter didn't invite her to the wedding, but I was invited and she's moved far away and doesn't call Mom or answer her calls. I hope that paints the picture that there can be a needy, unwanted person pestering him but it should not affect how he feels about you. If you have other concerns that come up, I'd be glad to share my perspective with me.
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