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I'm in love with someone much younger
I'm a 30/F and I work in retail. One of my co-workers is an eighteen year old lesbian. Despite our age difference, we became fast friends. In the months we've worked together, I've become aware that I have romantic/sexual feelings for her. Over the years, I've had periodic feelings for other women, but never one so young. I tried to fight them at first, but I guess she could sense my attraction and, to my surprise, began to subtly flirt with me. Long story short, about a month ago, we went out for coffee after work and ended up kissing for the first time. We've been dating since then.
I'm really struggling with my feelings right now. Part of me feels this is wrong and that I shouldn't be involved with her like this. Part of me feels like I should see where it leads. She is of age, after all, so it's not like I'm doing anything illegal, even if society might frown on it. I don't know...I'm so confused! I hope someone may be able to offer some helpful advice and I hope this doesn't mean I'm some kind of deviant.
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I see no problem with this at all. SHe is of legal age. Who cares what others think. Oh yeah, we all do when we are younger. It takes getting to my age 60, or a at least by age 45 give or take when people don't give a crap what others think. That alone would freeze me up and stop me from trying things when I was younger.
It isn't the age difference that should matter to you but whether you both have lots of things in common and that you can have a meeting of minds. Now I will tell a little story of mine to help you understand what I mean when I said
'meeting of minds'. After a divorce from my ex, I stayed with my sis out of state a while. While there, I decided I would get back in the dating world and set up my profile. One of the guys who answered was a 26 year old teacher. He, like my 2nd husband I met later, are both men who will always be sexually attracted to older women. He was a gentleman, asked to just be friends, as we both played guitar and planned on doing kareoke together.I had no real friends in the area, just my sister so I agreed. Heck I had son in law his age so yes, the age thing can make you feel awkward at the start. When I saw his eyes change with desire for me after a couple months, he hadn't said a thing but I spoke out and said,
Oh, no no no, I can't get involved with you for sex because we are too different in age. He was a gentleman and said If I changed my mind, I'd have to let him know. After some time, we became sexual because I had time to get used to the idea. However, I knew that we would never be more than friends with benefits because he talked like my own kids, words and slang I did not know or understand for one thing. We only had the guitar playing in common, nothing else and because there was over 20 years difference in ages, he was a totally different generation. So the cartoons, shows, singers, bands, movies, etc that I grew up with, most he had never experienced or seen. His other interests like scary movies, car races, lots of sports, and so on, were not interests of mine not because I had never experienced them. I had and found I was not interested in watching any of those. Our minds did not think alike, and we did not have the same opinions or thoughts on anything going on in the world. So at the point I was ready to tell him that this couldn't be anything more than just friends with benefits, he had met someone his age and actually liked her so that ended. I have heard from my now husband that as a teen of 18, 19 he dated divorced women who were 30 or 35, somewhere in there. In his 20s, he had single women aging older like late forties to 50 hitting on him when he was a busboy at a restaurant and they kept after him. Eventually he ended up with some of them for 2 years, one for 4 or 5 max but it always ended. I am only a year older than him but we have so much in common we can finish each others sentences and know what the other is thinking. Now that is an exceptional thing and I know not many have but I love it. I have seen a video that I will post for you, of a lesbian couple, one in twenties and one in thirties. The younger one came across as being mature and sure enough of herself that she seemed to be of compatible age before the older gal knew the age. That is what I am talking about, if maturity and mentally, you both can reach a place that works for you both. Here's the link: [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
As you will notice, they mention the exact age gap and it's 12 years, just as it is for you and your GF. Yes, there is some extra life experience one has vs the other but 12 years is not that much that puts you in totally different generations which is the more challanging of a couple relationship, still do-able but will have more issues to face and get around.
Enjoy the relationship for now. She is 18, so she may not yet have discovered exactly what she needs and wants in a gf/mate and may come to a point where they figures out you are it or there is something else she wants and keeps looking. You are of an age where you have hopefully figured out what you want. This is the only thing I see as possibly making this not work. But age gap, no problem.
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