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Extravagant Bachelorette?!?!
To whomever can give some advice,
I am the maid of honour in a wedding and am trying to plan the bachelorette. I am currently on maternity leave (but was smart with saving before going off), and the other two bridesmaids do not have a ton of money and are currently saving for houses.
We know our bride would like an extravagant trip. One reason being that our husbands are the "go big or go home" type and have had their last two bachelor "parties" down south because it cost less than when they did a weekend bachelor on the town. Our bride is a BIG fan of down south. She has also let the word "trip" slip in conversation about her bachelorette. Furthermore she has said she may want to know what we are planning, and has also offered to give me money secretly to use towards her bachelorette because she knows the other two bridesmaids don't have a lot of money. Her husband to be has also said to me "The further away the better".
We would love to be able to do this for her, however the other two bridesmaids still can't believe that a bachelorette has come to this, and are not quite comfortable spending this kind of money, and they would have a hard time finding a baby sitter for their kids.
I have been searching for other bachelorette ideas and have a lovely little weekend planned out, but we are all afraid to disappoint the bride because it won't be a big extravagant trip. However, some of these weekends away cost almost as much.
I should also note that she has 7 other people on her list to invite.
Is it wrong of us to assume she will be disappointed and let down if her bachelorette is anything but a big trip? She is not a snob, but does have high taste.
Are only the bridesmaids and I supposed to pay for the bride, or is it okay to ask others invited to pitch in? Maybe not for a big trip like this? and maybe yes it's ok if it were a smaller bachelorette?
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I had never heard of bachelorette parties being about travel other than the in city travel to the hostess's home. Most of what I found on the internet has to do with themes for a party at someones home or held in a banquet room.
Do you know what she is planning for a honey moon because if she likes the South so much, she and hubby to be, should be booking several stays through the south at bed and breakfasts and enjoy the trip, just the two of them paying for it.
Inviting people to your party but expecting 3 of you to send her on a trip and pay the way for 11 people, is absolutely one of the craziest things I've ever heard of in my life. But I did find one site that does mention trips for such parties and will give the link to show you. However I don't think you should worry about it or do it.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
I did get an idea from the first one, the spa weekend, but it need not be a full weekend. There are more and more local spas being set up. My daughter gave me an note last Christmas saying my gift was a day at the Spa and she would pay my way. I will tell you about it as I think it would be a wonderful way to bond as females and enjoy being pampered. The spa we went to has several pools, a hot tub, a medium temp warm water and a cold one to cool off in, everyone gets their own locker for the stay. There are several rooms for relaxing and meditating in called earth rooms, and steam room, sauna and a tea room with meals where you can order something to eat. This is all the basics covered by the entrance pass for all day which is $43. It is in the suburb of a major large city so I can't say it will be more or less in your area. They do have various scrubs and massages but those all start at the one I'm talking about from $200 to almost $300 in cost. That might be too expensive for each people to be able to afford. So check what is covered by a day pass and everyone buys their own meal if there is such a place on site. This spa is women only so no one wears clothes. So it would n't be as special if it was a spa for men and women. Look for a womens only spa in your area or a couple hours drive away but I would look further as you'd want the majority of the day to hang out. Then those who want to pay extra for a body scrub can schedule it and pay separately. But the bride could have one of her own choice maybe pre-chosen so the rest of you all pitch in for her special scrub/massage while the rest of you hang out in one of the therapy pools.
If you all would rather make it a party around town in a place big enough to hold all of you, then you will have to let her know that none of you are rich enough to come up with the money for a trip to stay somewhere in the south so you all can have fun being tourists. She needs to know this. If she is truly a friend, then she will be thinking about you all not just what she wants. If she is not a snob as you state, only high taste, then she can fund all her high taste herself. It is extremely in poor taste and terrible manners to expect everyone who is invited to pay her way for a mini vacation, she can have that for her honeymoon. What ever happened to throwing a party and everyone bringing sexy lingerie for the bride as gifts? So never assume anything. All three of you should talk to her at once, not just you so she doesn't assume its just you complaining. I think that travel bureaus for cities got the idea for advertising to come up with as many reasons as they could as to why someone would come to visit their city and took something like baby showers, wedding showers, birthdays or bachelorettes and advertised it as a great option for having those celebrations and its all so they can make money, not because it really is something better than an old fashioned bachelorette. If she feels let down, good. It will show you all that she cares more about herself, is selfish and doesn't care if it's a hardship on you. If she is so sure that her hinting and expecting to go south will cause you to plan a trip to the south, then she will be disappointed. What kid who begged and begged for a certain toy for Christmas that the parents never got because it was too expensive for them, was dissapointed on Christmas to find they didn't get what they wanted. Just because a person wants something doesn't mean the other person or people are obligated to get it. If she is so shallow that she wouldn't want to be your friends if you can't do this for her or begs you, then if it were me, I would drop her as a friend, probably pull out of the wedding totally. A love of money can go extreme and cause the money hungry person with high taste to lose all their friends. I've seen it before. So if the others are gone for just a day and its on a Saturday so the grandmas can have the kids for just the day, then a local spa should work and you can still come home to have cake and opening of gifts. So as far as I could read, the wedding party are not obligated to pay for a weekend trip and call it a bachelorette. Really, shoot for the spa thing with a cake and gift opening at the end, or just one or the other. But let the other guests know what you are planning because they may not be able to go if it was an all day thing, or afford to pay for a spa which could cost more than the one in my area. Good luck.
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