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Not feeling so great
First off, I want to thank anyone reading this and I apologize for any grammar mistakes. I used to work with this guy that I liked and we used to sit with each other everyday. I had a huge crush on him and he wanted to sit by me. We had a lot fun together- we flirted and got to know each other a little. For instance, our interests. At the time he was dating a girl and I was pretty bummed. A friend of mine noticed us and said why don't you just date each other? My guy friend didn't seem to be too happy to answer but he said he has a gf (at the time). My friend noticed this and said you don't seem to be too happy. Anyways this was in my younger 20's (24) when I met him. We sat with each other almost everyday at work and sometimes we hung out with mutual friends. A part of me knew, he knew I liked him. We exchanged numbers and fb pages. We messaged each other...
5 years later, I saw him online talking to a mutual friend and I wanted to reconnect. But, then I realized he needs his space with his current gf. We texted each other currently for a little while and he and I was pretty responsive, but we waited a little bit just to give each other space. I was not pushy and we talked off and on. We were getting to know each other and he would ask me questions about myself and I would do the same. Finally,I answered his last question about what I was going to school for and he hasn't replied for almost 6 days (including today). I'm worried I either said too much or it was the sake for his gf. I respect his space, but it might look as if I am trying to be a homewrecker lol. I understand I have to respect him and his gf.
I do like him and it sucks. But, I can't force someone to reply or have a friendship with me. I am just really confused because I guess the past was me thinking we had a connection. And we could very well have but he had someone and now HE HAS someone.
Do you think he is ignoring me or just has a lot on his plate? I would not want him to feel uncomfortable- since maybe with me talking to him isn't fair with his current relationship. But, he and I were texting not everyday but somedays where I wanted to give him space...but still wanted to talk to him..
I am not sure what to do since I felt like there was a connection, but, maybe there really wasn't? In the past, he did a lot of stuff to make me think he did like me. Now, time has gone by and now I feel like I just keep repeating the past and it happens with a lot of guys. It hurts. I guess maybe he is emotional unavailable and so am I. Maybe I was just a friendly distraction? But I did feel at least a friendship... now I just.. need to give up? Advice-help..?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
If he is indeed with the same girl as when you knew him at work, then he's been dating a long time. It doesn't take this long to figure out if the person youre with is the one you want to marry. So my guess is that he does not wish to marry, just wants to date for social reasons with sex on the side. YOu have to ask yourself, is this what you want, a guy who never wants to marry or maybe he just hasn't reach an age where he feels he wants to marry. Some guys marry already in their early tweentes. Perhaps he wants to wait til he's around 35. How much of your life do you want to see go by, longing for someone that may not even want some of the same basic things as you? Even then, he may never want to leave the girlfriend.
What you need to realize is that it doesnt take more than the time he had with you to figurew out if he liked you better than his girlfriend. He's asked qusetions about you. Not that you give the wrong answers, but he simply may not be right for you and he may sense that. In all this time, he has never said to you that he likes you and would date you if his girlfriend ever left him. I don't think the girlfriend is a problem because in 5 years, you've never heard that you can't keep in touch any more due to her being jealous of just a friend. Either she doesn't know and he's trying to keep it that way, or she is getting curious now, or she has always known and doesn't care. Either way, I don't think worrying about him not answering by now is going to do you any good. He may still be with her in another 5 years from now, unmarried, just dating. Some guys never say anything and their girlfreinds don't ask but the girls assume since he has been dating long term that he's gonna pop the question and get engaged and marry her. I have heard too many times from girls wanting to know what to do when after 5-8 years of dating, or more, that they discover that he never wants to marry and they've been waiting and hoping and now they're really pissed. YOu may not be his girlfriend but you are doing a waiting game like those who have written to me. If a guy is interested in a girl for a relationship, whether he is currently with someone and it is just so-so or whether he is single, that man will move heaven and earth to be with you. This guy is not doing that, do I am pretty sure he isn't interested in you in a romantic way. I think its time to move on with your life. Often the guys we really admire, come across our path only for us to learn something from them, the qualities we do like in a male and the qualities we don't like. If you want a husband and children some day, then some one like him who may take too much time to marry while the gal is soon too old to have kids, that kind of guy milght not be good for you Decide what things you likje in him and look for it in others guys.
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