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I just me him, do you think he likes me?
There is a guy I met last month at a mutual friend's bday party. At the party we danced a lot. We talked some but not a lot. Then we all went out again 2 weeks later to another party. We all started out by the bar sitting having drinks when he came in he came straight towards me and we talked a little and he invited me to another party that he was going to. He didn't see when I went off to the bathroom so when I came back he asked where I went. We went to the second party there we danced some but ended up dancing with other people. Then this weekend we all got together again at my house but we didn't get to talk much either. Its kinda hard I guess with other people around. But the next day I sent him a message on facebook thanking him for coming and he said no problem and he hope to again soon and added a smiley face. I like him but I'm not sure if he does or not so I'm trying read into things too much since I don't have much to go by. What do you think? My friends say not to worry these things take time and to just let things happen naturally but I feel like I'm missing out on opportunities.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I wouldn't use the word 'like' yet as you both don't know enough about each other yet but there is a level of interest. This doesn't mean you can count on him automatically making some kind of commitment to be your boyfriend. I am older and have had enough experiences in life to know that. The next steps are important to understand because lots of women expect that because a guy paid them attention and spent time in their company at a few occasions that it meant more than it did. It is though a precursor to ending up liking each other. Since you've barely gotten started here, I recommend spending time with him 'as friends' hanging out and talk alot, find out more about each other. One can tell in talking and how the other responds to the interest you have and share about if you have a lot in common, think the same way, your morals, or beliefs are very similar, etc. For your benefit, I will list the steps to a relationship, a document I've put together that explains the levels a person goes through with another. Often guys are scared away when they meet a girl who is barely at the first level with him and she seems to want to jump to the last one. It's a process, and though guys can enjoy a girl for lust right from the start, he isn't as likely to love you and want to trust you with his heart until he has worked through every step slowly and naturally with you. Only then will they be ready to commit to you for the rest of your lives. So here's those steps:
The Normal steps to a Relationship
Attraction: Whether just plain looks or a pheromone attraction. It doesn't mean that either one "Likes" the other yet so it is important to go beyond the staring at stage to conversation.(or too little talk and time alone to do so)
Conversation: Now you are talking and find that you like the persons sense of humor, how they think, their beliefs or way of living life...this is the teaser...either you decide you want to learn more in depth about the person or you decide you don't have enough interest from the conversation to want to learn any more. Someone not interested stops talking to the other and looks elsewhere. If both want to learn more about the other, you start dating.
Dating: Dating is not all about calendar appointments to go to a movie or out to dinner, or out dancing. It is a time to learn what you like and don't like about the opposite sex. Find out more about the person you have interest in which happens only if you start seeing each other regularly making it a conscious choice. If there are too many dislikes, start over again with someone new. Or take this to the next level. Usually a move to being a steady couple happens automatically without any conscious thought.
Steady relationship: This is meant to be a time where you have plenty of opportunity to spend in each others presence getting to see how they handle themselves 24/7 under all sorts of conditions, their good days, and bad days. Many choose to live together at this time. (for those 18 and older) There isn't much that can be hidden when you live with someone, like their housekeeping habits, what their usual diet is, any mood swings, and by now there should be a good idea of what their normal sexual habits and needs are. You don't want to get matched up with someone who is the opposite libido level of yourself. IF there are no further warning signs and all is wonderful, then the next step is making a conscious decision to commit ones life to the other .
Committed relationship: Here there are vows and oaths made to each other, a professing of mutual love and devotion for each other and it goes beyond words to living it out daily in how one treats their partner. This person will be your life mate with a marriage license or without one.
At any point along the way, you or he may decide that somethings come up that is a deal breaker for them, like if you know you want kids some day and he hates kids and never wants to have any. Marriages have broke up over this because the girl thought she could change his mind. Find someone who you can be happy with just as he is right now, without hoping to change anything about him. It should be the same for him with you. Don't change who you are for him.
So, contact him and go out for coffee to just talk or something like that. Going on a date to the movies is not conducive to chatting and getting to know each other, and neither are parties. Thats only a way to meet someone, not get to know them. Best wishes dear.
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