|
Boyfriend insecure
I am 16/F and my boyfriend and me is 8 months. We never really have problems or arguments unless its about the other gender speaking to me. I use to have a good close guy friend before i gotten into this relationship. But, my friend left our school and move, so he use to text me every often just asking about me and what is going on at the school. My boyfriend didn't like him and we had an argument about us being to close,so I told my friend about the issue and he ok with us not speaking like that because I have to respect that because he do not speak to other females or outside of school. But recently I noticed he just insecure or think he going yo lose me but he stay saying he know he is not going to lose me. But,I understand I have had my own self esteem issues but he given me so much confidence that I will never think he is going to leave or disrespect me. But, when I mention that a male is decent or even a celebrity, an attitude form or I get questioned why are you even looking at him that way. But if he speak on a female I do not reply, I either agree if she is attractive or not. I do not feel jealousy or insecurity because I just have this much trust in him that I know he is not going to leave me or that I am ugly because I know he not with me just because.
Sorry, I know this is a mouth full but i want advice on how should I respond to him doing these things or boost his confidence or something. He say he trust but don't trust other people. But at times its frustrating he do not have to explain himself if he speak on a female physical apperance ,but I get an attitude or have to explain myself.
He does bring me alot of happiness, we always have good times and never argue unless that is brought up.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I can't say he'll outgrow this when he's older. As you stated, having angst about being liked and how others perceive you is something all teens worry about and over think. So for the age group, this is common behavior. Thing is, can he be set straight with reassurances or not. If not, and you can't stand being with him while he's like that, best to be. Keep this truth in mind for your lifetime girl ...that no matter how old you get, if you find a guy that you like totally as is, no changes needed, he's a keeper. If you like a few things about him but the rest is stuff you don't like or want to avoid, then you end the relationship. Then look for a guy who has those same good points and a whole lot more than the last guy, making each one a step better, never settling for the same or less because you get stuck and never learn in that case.
Here is something to look out for. Often males who are this insecure end up moving on to controlling behavior. He is already doing some of that with you. Often adult women will find that they are forbidden to look at another man but also gets cut off from her friends and family so she can't reach out for help and has only her insecure guy to deal with. It also can be mental illness setting in at worst case scenerio. It's not your job to train him how to be a better more secure person. He has to see thats where he's weak and needs help. After 30 yrs married to a man with mental health issues who would not go for help cus he believed nothing was wrong with him, I gave up and left. So he has to realize first and then want to apply himself to change. Everyone is going to have things that are their weak points. If its nothing big that will affect the health of the relationship, then you live with it. However whats going on here will affect the health of the relationship. If you are close with his mom, you might mention it to her when he's not around.
The problem is he can't see the following as normal and important: Don't expect a partner to look at only you. If he/she doesn't look at others of the opposite sex at all, it may be a sign that they are gay. In this case, He does want a woman who is visually stimulated by men. Looking at and having male friends who truly have no romantic interest in you is quite normal and he shouldn't feel he has to change his world and yours to work around it. He needs to overcome it so he can fit into society better. Don't think that if this is the only issue you can live with it. But you don't have to trust me, stay with him and see for yourself when it gets worse.
]
More Questions: |