Gender: Female
Member Since: August 24, 2011
Answers: 1
Last Update: August 24, 2011
Visitors: 343
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This is some of the things my bf does:
1) When I'm texting/calling someone when I'm with him he asks me who I'm texting/on the phone with.
2) He reads my texts over my shoulder.
3) If I talk to another guy he gets very jealous and upset. We were at a party the other day and I was talking to a guy there off and on and he told me he got very jealous and felt I was ignoring him.
4) He's very jealous of my gay (guy) best friend because we hang out a lot and I've known him for years.
4) If I text him back at a slow pace he gets very angry with me, but if he takes long to text back I'm not supposed to be mad at him..
5) He always wants to do what HE wants to do.
6) We live about an hour from eachother and he always makes me go out there to see him bc he doesnt feel like driving here.
7) If I go out with friends he always, in a mean tone, asks me what I did and for details, etc.
8)If I leave his house and we don't talk for about an hour (through texting) he'll text me to see what I'm doing.
There's more but that's the majority of it.... (link)
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Well, from the perspecitive of the boyfriend [a number of those points rings a bell to me, as I am guilty of this with my beloved]...
It is not necessarily controlling. I would never stop my beloved doing what he wanted, however, the reason I was very much like this, was that I have learnt trust has to be earned. Six months on, I feel pretty confortable with everything, and I think my initial 'suspicion' has now turned into pure nosiness. I always think I might be missing out on something exciting!! [You know what it is like, you always think everyone else's life is more interesting that yours right!!]
I also like to have a lot of attention, so I might message him to ask what he's doing, but it's usually just a reminder that 'I AM HERE - DONT FORGET ABOUT ME - SEND ME KISSES!!!'. hehe
I also, to begin with wanted to be involved in everything in his life, I guess that is how it is when you first meet somebody you adore, but very, very slowly, I am starting to learn to be completly trusting and allow space, because then when we are together, it is amazing.
I still usually call him 2 or 3 times a day, especially when I am not with him, and some times, in the back of my mind, I do feel that 'i might catch him out', and discover him doing something that will destroy all trust.
However, the one thing I have always made clear in our belovedship, is that trust is the most fundemental thing. Once that is broke, he and I are broke, forever. It's something I have made so so clear. And partly, I find having really discussed the whole trust thing in detail, it's helped me to realise I have no need to worry.
I think a person is only really controlling when that person trys to inhibit you from doing things you want. I would love to be with my beloved all the time when he is with his freinds, and wonder constantly what he's doing, but at the same time, I have now observed what he and his friends do, and I know, there is nothing to worry about. They are all stable in their relationships, so its not like they are going to encourage him to do bad things etc.
I feel I have gone off topic here. I am sorry.
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