Member Since: March 27, 2011
Answers: 1
Last Update: March 28, 2011
Visitors: 331
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I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 months. We're both 22 and have a lot in common, and the beginning looks promissing for a successful long term relationship. The compatibility, his behavior, his mix of almost everything I want from a man, him finding what a lot of what he looks for in a woman with me... Though early, it seems like this could potentially blossom with time into something beautiful. So far, we bring out the best in each other, we push each other to do better, and we function like a team in many aspects. I honestly think this relationship makes both of us happier and better persons.
We haven't had sex yet, though we got to the stage of doing everything else, including sleeping together in the same bed without clohes on. I am not a virgin, but sex is a serious topic for me. I don't take it lightly, and I only want to think of having it in the context of a long term, loving relationship possibly heading towards marriage. I have had two serios relationships previously, which both ended at their own times due to compatibility reasons. After my second relationship I had told myself that I will only have sex again with a man that I am compatible enough to head into marriage. That doesn't mean waiting until marriage itself, but having a relationship with a good enough shape for that, if it makes sense. I don't want to get married now, but I see myself there in 2-3 years.
There is a strong attraction between me and my bf, which is why we got as far as we did. Despite the physical connection so far, I deffinetely don't feel ready to take it to the final end and have the sexusal intercourse, with all the risks and vulnerability it implies. I need more time for the relationship to develop and ...well to see how much of a long term it can get.
Last night he told me, while we were on his bed,that "That's it. This has to happen soon", because he "can't wait much longer". That "It's been already more than 3 months", and that "he's already showed me" he loves me and he's interested in more than just a sex fling with me.
I felt hurt by his words, and taken aback, because up to this point he acted very patient and encouraging, telling me things like "I can take as much time I need". I am curious ,was this something said in the sexual tension of the moment, or if it goes deeper and should worry me as to his feelings and intentions. I also don't want him to suspect any other reasons why I don't want to have sex with him, and on the other hand I don't know how to tell him everything on my mind without scarring him off.
I am sorry about the long post, but I am a bit confused about what I should do in my interaction with him. What I am not confused about is that I don't want to go all the way yet... So I guess I am asking for some feedback and for views of how people would handle this situation. Thank you (link)
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As a guy, I think he mighta just been in the moment or got some stupid "advice" from his friends . And even though guys don't like to talk about their emotions, this is one topic that we might actually talk about freely . And I'm sorry but I can't put myself in your situation, but I hope everything works out all right :)
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