Gender: Female
Member Since: February 2, 2008
Answers: 1
Last Update: December 2, 2012
Visitors: 213
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I seem to be having an issue lately.
I have feelings for three girls. I know that neither of them would date me.
The first one I've known for over 10 years and we dated for a while, but she determined that we weren't good enough for each other to be in a relationship with each other. I still have feelings for this girl but she doesn't have feelings for me. I'm guessing that this could be because she is a different religion then I am and the fact that I'm not doing much with my life, or maybe something else, but I know she won't date me.
The next two girls are co workers of mine. Both are a bit young for me. They are both around 18/19 years old and I am 27. One of the girls does smoke which is a turn off and also has a kid. While smoking is a turn off for me, I began to wonder some things such as if she could somehow try to get rid of smoking breath so that we could kiss. Do you think that's possible? Also, I generally will not date anyone with kids, because of the fact that often there can be drama involved and that can be a problem for a relationship. I would maybe date someone who has a kid as long as long as there is no drama involved between the girl I would date, the kids father and myself. The one advantage of dating a girl with a kid or kids will give me the ability to determine if I would ever be able to have my own kids or not.
Now I have not told any of these girls about how I feel mainly because I don't want to lose my friendship to the one and I would worry about how we would get along at work with the other two. I'm wondering, should I tell them how I feel or not? Why or why not? (link)
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Things dont fall in your lap. If you feel strongly about someone you don't wonder about things like smoking breath so you can kiss a girl. Frankly, kissing is 1% of the wonderful things that a relationship can offer you. And if you're so sure that neither of them will date you, why are you even bothering to ask for help? Smoking and a kid is not the problem. You are your problem. And dating brings drama. Atleast once a month. Kids ARE drama. My 2 year old cousin drops his popsicle, end of the world. Lost his favorite toy. Inconsolable. Cried three days. You come across as someone who is so insecure, do you even want a relationship? Do you FEEL enough? Sometimes you need to take a risk and just go for it. But you need to be sure you want it. You have to see it in front of you or else you'll be setting yourself up for a loss. If you truly care enough for a person that you'd be willing to stand on a roof and scream it out for the world to hear, you dont care about a kid that comes with the package. Or smoke-breath. You got rejected because you, as you were then, were not good enough for her. As you progress in life you learn things, that shape you. Change you. You dont have to force it it just happens. To answer your question: NO. Why? Because you can't expect someone to invest in something that YOU don't even know is there.
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