Gender: Male
Location: Australia
Age: 15
Member Since: May 1, 2009
Answers: 2
Last Update: May 30, 2009
Visitors: 648
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i have to do a video for photography,
so me and my friends were going to make a music video at a country club near us.
thing is, we arent sure what song would be good! any suggestions? (link)
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Pogo - Digitalism. Will be interesting to watch.
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I am an 18 year old male and I have been a pretty emotionally dead person for...well since my early childhood. And when I say dead I don't mean depressed or really down or anything of that nature. It's nearly impossible for me to feel anything genuine and I can only put a mask of fakeness on so I don't seem so far out. When I was in a psychology class I read about something called anti-social personality disorder and it almost disturbed me how similar the symptoms were to my own character. I've done enough to put myself away for the better half of my life and I haven't felt a shred of remorse or conscience. Anyways, I'm wondering if my lack of emotion is a cause of concern. Nothing brings me joy, pain, or sorrow and I can't even feel love for my own family anymore. NOTHING will make me feel anything and it bothers me. All I feel like is a body and a brain without a soul. Something is wrong with me but I don't know what. I'm a very intelligent person and all it seems I can do is succeed with material things like work while my relationships are built on false pretenses and emotions I never even felt but acted like I did. My question is: If there is anybody somewhat educated about this...what could be wrong with me? Do I have anti-social personality disorder?...and am I stuck with this? (link)
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Intriguing. And just when I thought I was alone with this...
I'm younger than most of you, 15 years old, living in Australia. I'm pretty intelligent, attending a so-called 'selective school.'
But unlike some of you here, I can't feel anything but one, strangely intense: anger.
I first noticed I couldn't feel much when my grandmother died. She was very important to me, and played a large role in my life. However, when she had gone I didn't feel a thing. I'm pretty sure this problem started before that.
Since then, I've been feigning emotions in public, concentrating on how a normal human being would react if someone asks me something, or does something to me - heck, I can't even let my guard down in front of my parents. My life is built primarily on lies - that lets me conceal who I really am.
The only true emotion I can feel is rage. I can get angry over the smallest things and keep it up for days, sometimes even weeks. I hide the anger from people around me (and my 'friends') but sometimes, when it gets too strong, I get all sorts of homicidal thoughts, just ending the lives of other people around me - though, obviously, I haven't gone that far.
There are a few people I seemingly care for - but that's to keep me looking normal, to make me fit into society. The very fact that I've managed to keep it up the act for this long (self control, maybe) could have pleased me... but it doesn't.
As for some questions some others raised, I have an iPod, and while I can listen to songs and know what they're about, I can't feel the emotion the song might express; I am also a classically trained pianist, but none of the 'emotion' in the piece I am playing ever affects (or 'gets to') me.
And, I've also played my fair share of video games (and remain an avid gamer), but more violent games like Manhunt have a tendency to make me practically enjoy them at one stage or another. It could just be my sadistic personality, but I don't think the lack of feeling has anything to do with desensitisation toward violence or violent imagery.
Whatever it is, there's not much I can do about it. And hell, as Majj said, this could be better than feeling emotions at all. We don't live with regret - if there was a word similar to carefree (but in another context), that would describe people like us.
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