Member Since: May 31, 2010
Answers: 1
Last Update: May 31, 2010
Visitors: 341
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Alright... here's the deal. I am an 18 year old girl who just had her last day of high school. I am going to college in the fall. I have a major issue...a problem with myself i guess you could say.
My mother is so completely outgoing and talkative while my father is very quiet and often too nice. Being their daughter I am a little like both, but I am much more like my father. And I hate it.
I have moments, mostly when I am out of school on the street or at random parties where I am very outgoing and talk to people and make great first impressions. Certain people at school that know me think I am so outgoing and open and out there. So I know I have that in me, I just don't know why it hides more than it comes out.
I cannot for the life of me be outgoing/fun/crazy or whatever in large groups of people. I am always the one that is quiet or reserved. I hate it! It causes me to not make as many friends in school and I am worried that this will affect my career life in the future, because being social and being able to talk to people is so important. I dont know what to do. I've read a lot of tips on how to be outgoing and they all say you need to have confidence but the odd thing is, I DO have confidence. I have enough confidence to know that I am very beautiful and smart and I can be very funny but for some reason those traits dont always come out. In large groups I just get lost and dont really know what to say... When a lot of people are talking I always find it hard to interrupt and enter the conversation. And sometimes when a lot of people talk to me at once I get very nervous...like when attention is all on me...and I say random things. But thats also weird, because I like attention on me I have modeled on runways and modeled and done a lot of things of that fashion. But when it comes to public speaking I just cant! How can I improve in that? I am going to college next year and I want to make a lot of friends and be outgoing and finally break this odd shell i find myself in... i have a lot to offer the world! (link)
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It sounds to me like you are an outgoing and confident young lady. When I was a young lady that just graduated High School, I had confidence in myself, but I was so shy and reserved most of the time. there were a few parties I went to that I ended up coming out of my shell and was actually so comfortable that I left there with a whole bunch of new aquantances, people I wanted to get to know more and they wanted the same from me. You said sometimes you clam up when you are in a large group atmosphere, that is just the chemistry of the crowd, and your intuition telling you not to get to comfotable at this certain time. Trust your instincs especially now that you are going to start college, you'll need to trust your instincts now more than ever, our bodies tell us when something doen't feel right so don't fight it just listen to your inner self and you won't see it as being a problem anymore. I feel you will not have any problem being the outgoing person that you want to be. Because you already are and I can say this from experience as you mature and get older and learn more and more your abilities and confidence will also grow with you giving you the gift of communication with any size group you want. People can't belive that I was so shy as a child and young adult, when I tell them they laugh and say they can't belive that, because as a 44year old successfull woman I say what is on my mind wheather someone likes it or not especially at work because the people I work with are co-workers not my friends. We are friends if we escallate our relationship outside of the workplace. I wish you great success, for your future and don't sweat the small stuff, you'll be just fine. Take care and good luck
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