Member Since: May 15, 2012
Answers: 1
Last Update: May 15, 2012
Visitors: 537
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I am an 18 year old male and I have been a pretty emotionally dead person for...well since my early childhood. And when I say dead I don't mean depressed or really down or anything of that nature. It's nearly impossible for me to feel anything genuine and I can only put a mask of fakeness on so I don't seem so far out. When I was in a psychology class I read about something called anti-social personality disorder and it almost disturbed me how similar the symptoms were to my own character. I've done enough to put myself away for the better half of my life and I haven't felt a shred of remorse or conscience. Anyways, I'm wondering if my lack of emotion is a cause of concern. Nothing brings me joy, pain, or sorrow and I can't even feel love for my own family anymore. NOTHING will make me feel anything and it bothers me. All I feel like is a body and a brain without a soul. Something is wrong with me but I don't know what. I'm a very intelligent person and all it seems I can do is succeed with material things like work while my relationships are built on false pretenses and emotions I never even felt but acted like I did. My question is: If there is anybody somewhat educated about this...what could be wrong with me? Do I have anti-social personality disorder?...and am I stuck with this? (link)
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Alright here's my story:
I had (and still do) a loving family growing up. I used to feel emotions sharply. I was a straight A student and excelled in sports. I moved in 8th grade and went from super popular to knowing no one. So I got into playing Xbox. I would live to play Halo. Recently, I smoked weed, which led to spiritual encounters. I realized I have no emotions, and believe video game addiction to be the problem. So, I sold my Xbox and have gotten involved in church. I do believe God is real, but I have trouble following his greatest commandment: "Love thy neighbor." I try very hard to love, but I feel like it should just be, not me have to labor hard to do it.
If any of you have similar experiences, or have tips, message me on Facebook! http://www.facebook.com/CxDrizzle
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