Member Since: July 2, 2012
Answers: 1
Last Update: July 2, 2012
Visitors: 520
|
| |
|
I am an 18 year old male and I have been a pretty emotionally dead person for...well since my early childhood. And when I say dead I don't mean depressed or really down or anything of that nature. It's nearly impossible for me to feel anything genuine and I can only put a mask of fakeness on so I don't seem so far out. When I was in a psychology class I read about something called anti-social personality disorder and it almost disturbed me how similar the symptoms were to my own character. I've done enough to put myself away for the better half of my life and I haven't felt a shred of remorse or conscience. Anyways, I'm wondering if my lack of emotion is a cause of concern. Nothing brings me joy, pain, or sorrow and I can't even feel love for my own family anymore. NOTHING will make me feel anything and it bothers me. All I feel like is a body and a brain without a soul. Something is wrong with me but I don't know what. I'm a very intelligent person and all it seems I can do is succeed with material things like work while my relationships are built on false pretenses and emotions I never even felt but acted like I did. My question is: If there is anybody somewhat educated about this...what could be wrong with me? Do I have anti-social personality disorder?...and am I stuck with this? (link)
|
Hello there. Sorry if my english is bad. I'm a 18 year old female from eastern Europe with the same problem. I was looking for something about this on Google and I found this site and read your post.
I just don't know what to do. I'm emotionally dead and indifferent. I'm sometimes very rude to my family members and they feel like I don't love them. Although, I am sure that I love my mother and whatever she does I can forgive her because I know she is the most amazing person who had done so much for me. But my father is a man I couldn't describe quickly. Let's just say we really don't get along well and I don't respect him at all because he is aggressive, ungrateful and evil. I have a sister and a brother too, but I don't know if I really love them. The real problem is - I don't have an idea why I don't feel anything.
Also, I have a boyfriend, we've been together for 2 years and I feel nothing. During sex I am concentrating on him and trying to do everything right and when it comes to my pleasure, it's only physical and it's getting boring. I learned how to fake emotions.
I don't have many friends. There's this girl I've known since we were kids and I hang out with her sometimes and tell her my secrets and she tells me hers, but I don't love her as a friend. I don't love her at all. Furthermore, I think she is a bad person and she betrayed me many times, but she's the only friend I have. She has many friends, though. I'm a extremely shy, I find it really hard to make friends. I'm very quiet. I don't think of myself as an insecure person, actually I always think that I am better than most of the people, but I was never too proud and I always show respect to people. I am humble, but in the inside I know that I don't deserve to be hated, hurt or betrayed.
I often worry about unimportant stuff, I constantly think that everyone disrespects me so I do bad things on purpose just to make sure I am hated (I really don't know why I'm doing this) and I am rude to people because I don't know how to reach them any other way. Sometimes I get angry, sometimes I'm scared. That's all I feel. I haven't always been like this, how to change it?
|
|