Member Since: November 25, 2008
Answers: 1
Last Update: November 25, 2008
Visitors: 965
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I am thinking about having sex for the first time and am extremely nervous. He is away in the military right now but is coming home for Christmas, so I haven't gotten to talk to him about it. I know I should talk to him about it and plan to, but it's still nice to get advice from others. I'm really worried about how akward it is or how it might be. I'm also worried about doing the right things to make it great. I have done stuff with other guys before but a lot. He is also a virgin too, will that make it easier for the both of us? (link)
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Your first sexual experience is bound to be a confusing time and it is understandable that you will have questions. Although it is often different for many people and so it is essential that you consider all outcomes and possibilities, and discuss these with your boyfriend, before making a final decision.
I think to be nervous is something that you and 99.9% of the female population have in common when it comes to losing your virginity. No amount of preparation will eradicate those nerves although you can take steps to make the situation more relaxing for your boyfriend and yourself by knowing what you're letting yourself in for. It mostly comes naturally, once you've started, you get into the hang of things and you won't know what you were so worried about. The first thing to ensure yourself of however, is that you are totally ready to take this step. Once you have, you can't go back and reclaim your lost virginity, so make sure it is what you want. It is as important to consider how he feels just as much as how you feel and so his input on the matter is really quite essential.
As I am sure you are aware, the first time doesn't necessarily result in orgasm. The best mental preparation you can give yourself is to enjoy the moment for what it is and not focus too much on what you are doing. Sex is largely about exploration of one another, finding out what is good and what isn't. Mistakes will be made, some things won't be as good as others, but it's the intimacy of being with a partner that you should enjoy more than anything. Experiencing that with somebody is worth more than any physical sensation.
The fact that you are both virgins may help or hinder you when it comes to your attitude on sex. Some people prefer experience which makes some feel comfortable in knowing what they are doing, but which can intimidate others if you have low self-esteem and are afraid of comparison.
Be educated about your decision and sensible - hope for the best and don't over-analyse it. I'm sure you will be fine!
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