Member Since: March 4, 2016
Answers: 3
Last Update: March 29, 2016
Visitors: 524
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Long story short, I've been dating a guy for two months. He puts on this persona like he's this really funny and awesome to be around guy. Everybody thinks he's a rising star and he's pretty much the "cool guy" on campus. He also pretends like he's very religious and sweet.
We're both 21 and live on campus at a University. I started dating him under the same pretense and for the first month things were great. Then he got very manipulative, dark, and controlling. He started telling me who I can and can't be friends with. He approached them and told them to stay away from me. He made me quit a club I was going to and also stop going to bible studies. Anytime I go out with my off campus friends he gets very angry with me and tells me my friends are losers and whores when he's never even met them. He's even waited in front of the dorm building for me to get back to see who I was with.
When we were on spring break and he had to go back home to another state he was constantly asking me who I was with and what I was doing. Even when I was with my mom he wanted me to constantly be answering him and got mad if I didn't do so promptly.
I also just got a new job and he's always heckling me to quit even though I need the money.
Another thing was when we first started dating he told me he wanted to wait until engagement to have sex. Then I found out he wasn't a virgin and then he started wanting sex from me. Now every time I'm with him he wants sexual favors and gets mad when I don't give in.
I've have a kidney infection for two days and I've been in a lot of pain from it. He knows this, but he refuses to believe it even though I'm on two prescriptions and he claims that the doctor is wrong. My doctor told me not to have sex until it goes away so I refused last night, and he started guilt tripping me and told me that our relationship isn't healthy when I refuse to have sex with him. I got upset of course and told him that it's my right to say no and then he replied with "You know I've ruined all of my ex girlfriends lives" and went into detail about it including a story about he convinced an ex's family that she commit suicide.
When things like this happen he always tries to smooth things over, by layering on compliments and telling me how much he cares about me. He's always asking me if I have faith in us and our relationship and telling me he does. If I try to tell him that I feel like his behavior is wrong he pretends to get really sad and says that I'm just misinterpreting his intentions and that he really cares about me and can see us together for the rest of our lives and then I get confused.
I'm so lost. I don't know what to do! I feel like I'm stuck and like hes blackmailing me into staying in the relationship. Nobody on campus would ever believe me if I reported him because he acts so nice and sweet to all of them. I don't want him to ruin my life and I know if I broke up with him he would. I'm scared that the only way for me to get away from him is to stick it out until summer vacation and then transfer colleges.
Please help!!! I don't know what to think or what to do!
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Well this is really sick and sorry you have to go through all this. This guy is really a total control freak. You need not fake this relationship any more. Its very abusive. Get out of it. This guy is total two face. When you break up with make sure you go with a friend or 2 in case things get ugly. And no matter what be firm on your decision. He may try to make you emotional, blackmail you but do not give in. Also after the break up,if he still pesters you, tell the cops about it,like a restraining order. In no way does he seem to 'care' about you. He is taking away all your freedom. I have been in such a relationship myself although it was not as horrendous as yours. Trust me, do not stick out coz it makes gettin out more tough. It ll be really emotionally draining for you. You deserve a lot better.If it helps,try informing your parents. They are gonna be there for you always.if not,a close friend or a sibling. And do not worry at all.you havent done anything wrong here, and trust me,ive been there in your position. Your life isnt gonna get ruined, its just gonna get better. I wish u good luck and happiness in life.Hope this helped. Take care
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I have a friend, we have been friends since Pre-K. I have always had strong feelings for him, but I never saw him interested in being anything more than friends. Now he claims that he likes a girl in our school and grade but he couldn't tell me who because of 1 thing. So, naturally, I asked him what that 1 thing was and he said he couldn't say. I think his friends know who he likes, but he wouldn't tell me. Finally I pestered him enough and he told me he liked a girl at our school named Lauren Freeman, but I checked the directory and there is no one named Lauren...do you think it's me? Should I tell him I like him after 10 years of friendship? WHAT DO I DO? (link)
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Okk listen..i am a guy and i have been in this place..as pointed out..Men are not mind readers so i feel you should take the first step here and talk to him. You guys have been friends for 10 years.By the look of it. He seems kinda shy also he might be afraid that he might lose the friendship if he really confesses to you. So go ahead and talk to him about this. Do not worry about his reaction or facing rejection coz if u do not ask him,you might end up regretting it. You have liked him since 10 years.I wish u all the best and hope it goes well. However, do not lose heart if its a rejection. Its okk sometyms.
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so im girl , 3rd in high school and i really like one guy from my school ...he´s in 4th year..so he´s a year older than me....we dont know each other...i only see him during breaks in hallways sometimes...i dont know how to get his attention bc he´s always surronded by his friends..i wrote him valentine message but he probably doesnt know it was me who wrote it....i also send him friend request on fb and texted him but he hasnt accepted it nor responded to my text on fb..i really dont know how to get noticed by him....so i really want my friend about this guy but i dont know how to star because im shy..i really trust my friend (girl)...so i dont mind telling her i have crush on someone i just dont know how to start...please help me :) (link)
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Well its really simple !! All you need to do is talk to her in private. And make it a point to tell her that u trust her a lot and that is the reason you are confiding in her about this. Tell her it has to strictly be a secret btween you 2. Then tell her about the guy. If you really have even a slight doubt then hold back. It is better to keep things to yourself rather than telling untrustworthy people who might start a gossip mill. I m not being negative but if you feel confident she can be trusted ..go ahead. Just remember this.. Trust but always check ! Hope this helps
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