Member Since: March 11, 2011
Answers: 1
Last Update: March 11, 2011
Visitors: 619
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I am an 18 year old male and I have been a pretty emotionally dead person for...well since my early childhood. And when I say dead I don't mean depressed or really down or anything of that nature. It's nearly impossible for me to feel anything genuine and I can only put a mask of fakeness on so I don't seem so far out. When I was in a psychology class I read about something called anti-social personality disorder and it almost disturbed me how similar the symptoms were to my own character. I've done enough to put myself away for the better half of my life and I haven't felt a shred of remorse or conscience. Anyways, I'm wondering if my lack of emotion is a cause of concern. Nothing brings me joy, pain, or sorrow and I can't even feel love for my own family anymore. NOTHING will make me feel anything and it bothers me. All I feel like is a body and a brain without a soul. Something is wrong with me but I don't know what. I'm a very intelligent person and all it seems I can do is succeed with material things like work while my relationships are built on false pretenses and emotions I never even felt but acted like I did. My question is: If there is anybody somewhat educated about this...what could be wrong with me? Do I have anti-social personality disorder?...and am I stuck with this? (link)
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Hi i am 18 years old, recently i am having problems with my emotions, as in they are disapeering for the past 2 years. Two years ago I consider myself over - emotional, i force my emotion because i had full control over any emotions. if i didn't want to feel sad, then i didn't, and if i wanted to feel pumped with adrenaline i would forcefully start shaking with adrenaline and constant shivers would shoot down my spine, my heart would beat heavily,and 3 times faster than normal. Adrenaline is only suppost to last for 15 minutes in the human body but i can make it last over an hour. I would feel like a god if i wanted to. By having full control over my emotions, i lost my personality, i don't know who i am anymore, i look into a mirror and i don't even see myself any more ( i see another person) like another soul. I think i have anti- social illnell too because i am not a people person , my entire life i have obseved people, i can read anyone- but it goes beond reading people- this might sound crazy but it is sort of like reading other peoples spirits, i can easily see what kind of person that they are, and i can make them easily be my friend because i would see what kind of people they are, I simulate emotions, put on masks, play around with people but I don't actually feel what I'm supposed to feel at all. the emotions are getting harder and harder to force, as in they are no longer there.... i don't feel anymore, its all gone... I observe people in order to understand them. Back then when i was 15 years old i could read people and then copy there personality for my own, I BECOME THEM....I sometimes think that i might feel , like a bystander...im on my own in this universe... I'm good at seeing through people, even teachers, psychologists, even parents. I look at things neutraly (everything as equal.... I see animals are equal as humans ... and religions as equal to each other .... and human races as equal to each other) Socializing is killing me because perfoming exhausts me, and people as well, i don't understand why people are so easy to trick.
I went to a psychologist but they think that i am turning into a pyschopath, they tell me that it is impossible have so much control over emotion and that it is immpossible for your mind to produce over an hour of adrenaline forcefully just because i want to. So i can't get any help from anyone... im alone and helpless but i see that on this site other people are in the EXACT POSITION AS ME... i still have a tiny little handfull of emotion left but it is also disapeering... somone plz help me, i want to feel more not less
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