Member Since: October 6, 2010
Answers: 2
Last Update: July 29, 2011
Visitors: 870
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Hey, i read your post on the topic of not feeling anything, and your secret to happiness. It seems like you did really find it, but i just have no clue where to begin, like its great that i know what i need for happiness, but.. i guess where and how did you first start, cause i had the same childhood as you, and i do truly forgive who was responsible, but the damage is done and past that. i would really appreciate a reply, and thanks for your time (link)
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I spent about five years distancing myself from everyone . I lost interest in everything, all of the "good times" i had in my life didn't seem like it was worth it. I just couldn't see the point in anything and i lost all hope.
Until, I remembered someone, she was very nice to me and she didn't really have any reason to be and that meant something to me. I decided I need to go talk to her before i gave up on life.
I spent several months working past my problems (forgiving people and social phobia were the main ones)so i could talk to her.
Eventually i was able to tell her that I appreciated her kindness. It was very satisfying telling her that. Then we both had to go our separate ways.
Here's a quote from Willie Stargell that is similar to what i learned about life.
"Baseball taught me what I need to survive in the world. The game has given me the patience to learn and succeed. As much as I was known for my homers, I was also known for my strikeouts. The strikeout is the ultimate failure. I struck out 1,936 times. But I'm proud of my strikeouts, for I feel that to succeed, one must first fail; the more you fail, the more you learn about succeeding. The person that has never tried and failed will never succeed. Each time i walked away from the plate after a strikeout, I learned something, whether it was about my swing, not seeing the ball, the pitcher, or the weather conditions, I learned something. My success is the product of the knowledge extracted from my failures. (Stargell 1983, 11)"
So to find out where to start I would say you need to find out where you are going first. You need to find something that has meaning to you and go from there, never giving up.
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I am an 18 year old male and I have been a pretty emotionally dead person for...well since my early childhood. And when I say dead I don't mean depressed or really down or anything of that nature. It's nearly impossible for me to feel anything genuine and I can only put a mask of fakeness on so I don't seem so far out. When I was in a psychology class I read about something called anti-social personality disorder and it almost disturbed me how similar the symptoms were to my own character. I've done enough to put myself away for the better half of my life and I haven't felt a shred of remorse or conscience. Anyways, I'm wondering if my lack of emotion is a cause of concern. Nothing brings me joy, pain, or sorrow and I can't even feel love for my own family anymore. NOTHING will make me feel anything and it bothers me. All I feel like is a body and a brain without a soul. Something is wrong with me but I don't know what. I'm a very intelligent person and all it seems I can do is succeed with material things like work while my relationships are built on false pretenses and emotions I never even felt but acted like I did. My question is: If there is anybody somewhat educated about this...what could be wrong with me? Do I have anti-social personality disorder?...and am I stuck with this? (link)
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I've been through a lot in my life. I KNOW what you are going through. Because ive been through it. I know what it's like to not feel or feel very little and to not have a conscience. I thought i screwed my life up beyond repair. Now, looking back on my life (I'm almost 20 by the way). I did it all to myself and I'm not just blaming myself; In determining cause and effect of what caused what. I found that when i was a little kid people that should have taken better care of me didn't. I held it against them and one thing after anther my life got worse and worse to the point where you are at. I even came out of that and found happiness but, I screwed up again and dove back into my problems face first; I got so broken and destroyed and it's a wonder I'm still alive. The one thing learned in all of this is: to NEVER give up on searching for happiness.
When you get to the bottom of things; ask all of the whats and whys. The very bottom is principals; ALL humans (wether they know it or not) act through principals. In my own search I found what it takes to gain Happiness.
The secret of Happiness:
1.Fatih; Believe in yourself; Believe your life has a purpose
2.Forgiveness; Let all the bad go. People that you hold a grudge against and any grudge you might hold against YOURSELF.
3.Hope; Hope for the best in life but, dont expect it. Hope creates sincerity
4.Charity; Be Humble Be Selfless and Give but, (here's a mindscrew of mindscrew's) It can be selfish to give and selfless to take. The way to tell between selflessness and selfishness, giving and taking; It MUST be Sincere and humble. Dont give, thnking you have to and dont take when you dont feel like it.
5.Love; ,Acceptance,Respect,Frugality,Dilligence and . Each ONE of these creates Joy; which in turn promotes Faith.
You CAN'T have any Joy without Love, Love Without Charity, Charity without Hope and Hope without Faith. So if you are not happy find out where your problem is.
I know this looks like a bunch of religious BS but, you dont have to be religious to try it. Im not trying to convert anyone. People can believe however they want. I just want to help people.
P.S. Dont worry about loosing your logic it will still be there when you find your way.
P.P.S I recommend you look all this stuff up for yourself. If you get stuck or have qustions Google has all of the answers.
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