Member Since: August 2, 2012
Answers: 1
Last Update: August 2, 2012
Visitors: 673
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I have come to the point where I cant write, concentrate, derive pleasure from anything, have difficulty remembering things, have blurred vision, eyes seriously hurt, sometimes have severe headaches, most of the time dont know what I am talking especially with my elder brother. I have nt got father and mother I live my elder brother and his wife since 6 years. I am 26/M an MBA had a successful career but now since six months things have been deteriorating. I cant bear it any more. Plz tell me the easiest way to commit suicide which hurts less and is quick and doesnt make much of a mess. (link)
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I have to agree with most of what ArtsyGrrl said below; except for the student loan part, as I am 57 years old, so ALL is TOO LATE for me. No children in my future or past, no education past one year of college with failing grades (no money, no scholarships for me?! ha-ha, from where, Heaven???), money (what's that????), love (ha ha ha ha ha). I can guarantee you that everyone in my life wishes I were just a bad memory. I only have one reason to be alive, and that is my best friend & companion...my cat. She's old, and when she's gone, so am I. And I live with very sick people (my family) who don't give a rat's ass about her welfare, so she could be dead before her time, too; because of their lack of caring and incompetence. Little do they know or care that if that happens my life ends sooner than later, also. So what.
Believe me, NO one will care for more than maybe a couple weeks (until their guilt wears off) & without my existence here on earth, to remind them who horribly & completely they ALL failed me as their sister, or other relation (you know who you are). I loved you more than you'll ever know or appreciate, or you would have been with me all this time. Now you have to die alone, too. How sad is that, God?
I'd like to tell you there's hope for you, if you're still on this earth; because despite what you said a few years ago, even at your current age there's hope for positive change & experiences in life. Once you get to my age it all changes, but don't do yourself in yet. Look at what the responder below had to say:
ArtsyGrrl answered Friday June 8 2012, 10:30 pm:
Came across this old thread while doing a search on suicide (yep, I'm contemplating it myself.)
Odd as it may sound, I want to tell you not to because there are other people in this world who are suffering just like you, and you can find them (perhaps via the Internet?) Someone out there is looking for you because only you will understand him/her.
Unlike most people who post on these forums, I have no family. My biol family is VERY dysfunctional, toxic&the reason for many of my problems. I have very few friends. I don't meet like-minded people. I'm living in a place where there are few people like me but have to be here due to my financial situation. Been struggling financially for years, watched my life pass me by. Very painful. Tragic. Heartbreaking. Spent my youth hurting, struggling, trying to pay bills. Didn't get a chance to date a lot or party. Just worked & struggled. Now it's too late to start a family, to build a network of friends, to start a career, etc.& of course, I'm still living in poverty, still in debt. If I'd known when I was younger what I know now about this stupid country (the USA--ugh!), I would have spent my hard-earned money & left for a part of the world where a better life is possible. Sadly, it's too late for me to do that now too. I've had to learn the hard way that as you get older everything gets harder because our society is ageist. I'm "overqualified" for most of the dead-end jobs out there, yet I have huge student loan debt because, stupidly, I went to college thinking a degree would help me climb out of poverty. I'm a very intelligent person but no one cares. Employers would rather hire someone younger, less experienced & less intelligent so that they can pay them less&control them better. (I have other problems too, health problems, chronic pain, live in a dangerous neighborhood, am surrounded by abusive people, etc., but just don't have the money to get out of this situation.)
Point is, life is terrible, just horrible, for some of us. My choice to live is a bad one 'cause I'll prob end up homeless, raped & murdered on the street. Suicide would be a more pleasant way to die. Frankly, the way the wealthy elite are running this country rt now, I think they want a lot of us to just kill ourselves & get out of their way.
Yet after all this, I'd encourage you (and anyone else) to live in spite of it all. Why?
I guess I feel that so many of the injustices we're all experiencing are happening because we've allowed the wrong people to attain power in our world. If instead of getting depressed and demoralized we could all get together, all of us who are suffering due to injustices, I think we could make a positive difference in the world, corny as that sounds.
Instead though, so many of us who are suffering just wallow in our misery, contemplate ending our lives. But if we could just come together and work together toward making things better...
Wish I could start a support group of some kind. But I just don't know how...
Anyway, it's years since you've posted, so this prob won't help u, but others will also see this post. (See? You've helped out others suffering like you already! Just by posting this on a forum, you've brought together others who are also suffering & you've probably led some people toward getting some help.)Even I feel better after reading your post 'cause I recognize that there are others out there like me, struggling, hurting, misunderstood.
Still, I believe that those of us who are suffering are the most needed in the world right now! Yes, it's a strange thought to some. But think about it. We're suffering 'cause we're unhappy with the way things are. We want things to change. We are the potential change-makers. Those who are happy and content aren't going to create change. They want things to preserve the status quo 'cause they benefit from it. Think of all the people in the world who are suffering right now. Strange as this may sound, our suffering serves a purpose--to notice and heal problems.
Yes, your problems are unique, but your suffering is not. Once we suffer, we develop empathy for others who are suffering and we can become healers for them. Think about it. Like me, perhaps your family isn't loving or supportive. But there are still other people in this world who need you. You may not have met them yet, but you will...if you try.
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