I’m a native, small town, Texas gal with a beautiful 3 y/o daughter and a husband I adore. I love to backpack and go to Big Bend several times each year. I also enjoy reading, cooking and have always had an interest in history and archaeology. : )
Gender: Female
Location: Texas
Occupation: Bail Agent
Age: 37
Member Since: November 5, 2018
Answers: 1
Last Update: November 5, 2018
Visitors: 167
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I've been dating a woman for seven months. I love her, and love being with her, and she says she loves me. We've even talked of marriage.
She just got a new job with long hours and a ton of responsibilities (I am self-employed). She also just moved into a new house. She now lives farther from me, nearly an hour drive. For those reasons, we don't see each other as often. I've asked, and she swears she wants to be in a relationship with me, but when I go to her house, she has me do things like fix, install, or build things. We are hardly ever alone, and we never have sex anymore. She has a lot of close friends and she feels like she needs to give us all equal time. She also never comes to me. She tells me she loves me, but tonight she called me from the bar (by herself) to tell me that. I had told her I didn't feel like making the drive to see her, because since she moved the only time I see her is if I drive to her, and because of my work I've driven back and forth several times in a day to see her.
I feel like I'm being taken advantage of, and as I write this, to me it sounds obvious, but I'm really trying to give this the benefit of the doubt.
ps... we're both mature women, and both looking for a forever relationship... I'm just not sure if we're on the same page. Am I overreacting? Missing something? Being too needy? (link)
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Between a new and demanding job, moving into a house that needs repairs, occasionally watching two young grandkids and trying to maintain a social life, she sounds more than busy!
I imagine that all of that would be a bit overwhelming and, by the time she’s able to relax with you, she’s too exhausted for physical intimacy.
However, the fact that your feelings and needs are being overlooked is a major problem. Personally, I’d ask her, clearly and succinctly, to make the hour long drive and see how she responds. It might be that, with everything going on, she doesn’t realize that she’s been taking more than she’s been giving. I honestly hope that that’s the case!
If not, though, you need to chalk this up as a lesson learned and move on. You deserve to be with someone who values you as much as you value them.
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