Member Since: August 1, 2009
Answers: 1
Last Update: August 1, 2009
Visitors: 535
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I am an 18 year old male and I have been a pretty emotionally dead person for...well since my early childhood. And when I say dead I don't mean depressed or really down or anything of that nature. It's nearly impossible for me to feel anything genuine and I can only put a mask of fakeness on so I don't seem so far out. When I was in a psychology class I read about something called anti-social personality disorder and it almost disturbed me how similar the symptoms were to my own character. I've done enough to put myself away for the better half of my life and I haven't felt a shred of remorse or conscience. Anyways, I'm wondering if my lack of emotion is a cause of concern. Nothing brings me joy, pain, or sorrow and I can't even feel love for my own family anymore. NOTHING will make me feel anything and it bothers me. All I feel like is a body and a brain without a soul. Something is wrong with me but I don't know what. I'm a very intelligent person and all it seems I can do is succeed with material things like work while my relationships are built on false pretenses and emotions I never even felt but acted like I did. My question is: If there is anybody somewhat educated about this...what could be wrong with me? Do I have anti-social personality disorder?...and am I stuck with this? (link)
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I cant believe that there are this many people who share the same problem I do. I've had that same numbness since i was a kid also. I'm an 18 yr old male from New York dealin with this on a daily basis. Having to fake a laugh at a friends joke and mimicking popular behaviors I saw on tv growing up. Telling girlfriends about feelings that i dont really have. Wanting to be alone when in groups but wanting someone to connect with. I had a moment a year ago after my ex broke up with me that I actually felt legit emotions, but then i went back to whatever I am now.
It is a form of anti-social behavior, closer to being a sociopath without reason or remorse than an anxiety disorder from having recent changes in regular life. I also first understood it when i took pysch in my first year of college. I've managed to learn a little bit about it so if anyone wants to talk u can contact me:
cjcanuelas yahoo com
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