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im form indonesian
what im supposed to do know??
one half years i give her everything of my life...try to get a better job,try to make her happy,try to be patient at all...but know shes want to go n get free from me,she said that im make her suffering,pain, and else...shes says not hate me,but from what she act for me,it tells a lie in her words....2months im try to survive, everytime im tried to forget about her,im just feel the pain more and more,im suffering,when im telling her im going to die,shes even didnt care about me,shes just say sorry....sorry for what???after shes take everything from my life,than just sorry???how many people in this world know about my pain and my suffering,this all things really sucks,i hate my life,i hate everything know....im just always try to a shortcut,suicide,but i dont know why i cant do that,i wondering how my life is gonna end,im just want to release my pain....know in front of me,what i see is a knife....everynight,ive got a nightmare,never slept well,everynight im hear a voices told me to die....im just want to be happy and have a normal live,like the others...i dont want to stuck with this things everytime in my livfe,but im got no clue...should i die to end my suffering????? (link)
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yeah,i know this is wrong,but,i dont know how to handle it myself,even my friend,uhhh......im always try to not look back anymore,but,everytime ill try,im failed,i cant do it....is just so painfull....really feel like live in hell....no friends,no family,theres nno anyone in my life can make me feel everything is gonna be okay.....im sad looking my life,im sad when i stand in front of mirror looking that guy so poor...im stuck know.....in front of my face now,is aknife,but everytime ill try to suicide,something inside my heart told me to not do it,but if i want to sleep,the voice come to me again and told me to die.....im just,aarghhhhhhhhhhhhhh........even god doesnt help anymore........what should i do now........... :(
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