Good news - you can most certainly use a condom in the shower. The condom won't come off if it is properly put on. Water does cause condoms to lose its elasticity making it more likely to break. To prevent this buy a good lubricant and use it.


Don't use the withdrawal method. It's not effective for protection from either pregnancy or stds.

The condom needs to be snug around the shaft of the penis. The tips should have extra room it is the reservoir for the sperm. If the condom is pulled down too far and there is no reservoir the condom may break.

Slipping could be a number of different things -

If there is too much lubricant.

If he had cum and continued to remain in you for quite a long time the sperm can act as lubricant.

If the condom is not snug on the shaft if could slip off. (different brands and types will fit differently)

It could also be the sexual position.

Yes there is a possibility you could be pregnant. Take a test just to be sure.


Here is instructions on the proper way to put on a condom

http://sexuality.about.com/od/contraception/ht/putoncondom.htm

Here is interactive demo with drawings

http://www.sexualityandu.ca/multimedia/demos/condomapplication/index_e.aspx

Condoms are only 98% effective if everything is perfect. Consider adding another form of birth control also.

The definition of rape is forced, unwanted sexual intercourse. If you are unable to consent (underage, drunk or drugged)then it's rape.

Legally it would be difficult if not impossible to press charges because he may have not have known you didn't want sex. From what you described you were not clear about your feelings or wants with him. From what you describe you weren't incapacitated enough for the legal system to act.

That doesn't change the frightening and traumatizing experience you went through. It doesn't change that you still need care, comfort, and a way to heal. It doesn't need to be labeled "technically" not rape. It was unwanted sex. It was emotionally scarring sex. Isn't that all that all that needs to be said?

What happened shouldn't of. Sex shouldn't hurt. It shouldn't be emotionally scarring. It should feel good even if it is rough. It should be consensual. Your partner should notice that if you are crying during sex. They should make sure you are ok if you are crying. They should be aware if you are in pain. They should be concerned with your feelings and your pleasure.Don't blame yourself. There is nothing that justifies having being treated like this.

Go to the doctor. Get a check up. Even had this not happened you need to get checked for stds regularly.

Deal with the feelings. Traumatic past experiences can effect your future experiences. Talk to someone. Either a therapist, group, or hotline

Rain has been giving free online and phone support for years.

http://www.rainn.org/


"Ray" may not fully believe you or at least thinks you may be leaving things out. This is not unusual. People don't want to believe that horrible things happen. They like reasons. They like to feel they can protect the people they care about. They are comforted in the idea that a cause = a certain reaction. It's difficult to hear that someone have a romantic interest in has had sex with someone else. When that sex is traumatic, forced or hurts the person you care about it brings a level of intensity that is uncomfortable.

Ray's reaction at best is immature. He is trying to figure out if he can trust your version of events. If he does what can he do about it. That is no reason to call you "dummy". It's disrespectful and insulting.

Yes you have a right to feel "weird" and yes you can talk to Ray. Let him know that whether or not he believes what you told him, you needed (and need) his support and care. Don't do it to get Ray back (that is his decision) Do it because it is time to speak up. He should be clear about why you told him. Knowing what you need gives him a option of how to deal with the situation. It helps you take a step towards a stronger you. It helps the healing. In the end his reaction matters less than your bravery in dealing with your feelings and needs. Care for yourself by speaking up about how you feel. Start being clear about what is acceptable and not to you. Then take action and get help.

Keep making progress but don't be impatient. Take it slowly. Healing takes time.

Yes tell your nurse about the depression. It's important when choosing the dose and kind of birth control.

The numbers Peeps gave are if everything goes perfectly.

Your chances go up if you miss a pill, take other medication (one example -antibiotics), eat certain foods (one example - grapefruit juice) that interfere with the pill. Smoking make increases your chance of becoming pregnant while on the pill. So does where you store your pills. If it is too hot or damp the pills become less effective.

Get a list of things that interfere with the pill from your doctor. Inform them of new medications and even vitamins or supplements (for example St John's wort can interfere with the effectiveness of birth control pills) before you take them.

If you are having sex with someone you can't see in your life long term it is always best to use a condom as well as the pill.

A little blood is normal after loosing your virginity (and possibly the first few times after) The amount of blood varies from woman to woman. It should stop soon a day or two.

If you begin to bleed heavily (more than period) or are in pain check in with your doctor.

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