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HElp....

I met this girl a year ago and we weren't really that close... Last summer we were stuck in a group project in summer school. Honestly I didn't like her THAT much to begin with.. I mean I had to be group leader and deal with everything and eventually DO everything which pissed me off... and I know I should distinguish between work and friendship but honestly I saw habits that I don't want in friends... anyway... I KNOW for a fact some of the reasons she picked me out of all six members to be my "friend" i didn't mind cause usually I am nice and tolerant and I thought I could set limits with her...
Turns out... she is too nice. TOOOO nice to the extent you feel that there is some kind of motive to it... well that's what it turned out to be... she started doing me favors in exchange for me doing her favors. I'd say urghh i am busy doing this paper that is killing me... and then she'd jump like an overwhelmed dog ready for his walk saying I'll do it I'll do it I'll do it!! i say NO and she says I'll help you I'll help you I'll help you...

anyway needless to say it was my mistake for being lazy and abusing the opportunity. I said okay and I got her to proof read some of them and to come up with ideas for others. we were okay until she started being obsessive (and i guess my guilt sorta allowed her) and inquisitive. she wanted to know about ALL my friends (i am not being cruel she has none but her cousin) and starts asking where when who why how if i say i am busy with some one... and it doesn't stop there... I live closer to campus she lives about 45 mins away, now that we are "best friends" she keeps saying I am coming over or I am coming to organize your room or stuff... I don't want to be mean and i don't mind my friend being over except she goes through my stuff!!! my parents don't even do that!!!! even my roommate knows not to enter my room without knocking or permission this girl comes in and opens all cabinets and drawers and asks a billion questions about everything. so i resorted to saying that my house is not clean to get her to UNDERSTAND that i don't want her there she says I'LL CLEAN IT FOR YOU! or worse I'LL DO YOUR LAUNDRY. i have a damn housekeeper to help around but i don't need someone going through my undies! and honestly thats how she made it sound when i told her i had a housekeeper... she honestly almost said why don't you hire me (FOR PAY!!!) I am a little more well off than most of my friends because my grandfather died five years ago and left me college money and extra. she knows that... all my friends do but none of them ever made it such a big deal or made me feel weird about it... she comes in goes through my shopping bags and says stuff like OH MY GOD YOU BOUGHT A 75$ DOLLAR PAIR OF JEANS!!!! and i don't know what to say... so i say they are on sale.... urghhhh i can't stand her... I finally got her to stop coming to the house but she keeps calling and texting and when i say lets meet at the coffee place instead she gets all cold and mad! she is nice and helpful but not in a friend kind of way!!! and i know i'll feel guilty blowing up on her. but i don't know if i can control it much longer or if i have another option!!! she is getting to my last nerve... oh she also keeps sending me these guilt inspiring messages saying I tried calling you but you are ignoring and I miss you so much and just wanted to say hello and if you need anything call me i am always here for you (p.s i am not ignoring her she calls like 4 times a day and i have classes!!!!)


what should i do...

I think that you should talk to her about it. but you really have to stress to her that your a big girl and you can do this by yourself. you dont need help cleaning your room, or writing a paper. maybe you can also be more careful about what you say around her. im not blaming this on you at all, but maybe think before you say "ugh my room is so messy" or "ugh this paper is killing me". if you try not to say that stuff so much then this issue wouldnt be as huge.
i hope i helped.

p.s. props on dealing with this friend !!!! :D i wouldnt live a day !!






you should say that you dont feel good. or you need to make and important phone call. say i dont need help with anything and i want to read bymyself. things along those lines

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