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May 20, 2006Answers:
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advice
Last school year, my friend Shawn and I messed around like two times. Well since we were such good friends, we both decided that we didn't want all of our other friends to know about it. But, I had to talk about it to someone so I told my closest girl friend, Melissa because we tell each other EVERYTHING (well we used to anyway now I tend to keep most things like this to myself and not tell her).
So I was talking to another friend, Mark and asking him about his new girlfriend (this was about a month after I told Melissa about Shawn). He wouldn't tell me what I wanted to know and said that the only person that did know was him, his girlfriend, and Melissa.
That really pissed me off because, well, wouldn't it piss you off? So I asked him why he told Melissa and wouldn't tell me. At this point, I didn't care about him and his girlfriend any more; I wanted to know why he thought he could trust Melissa over me.
He told me that he doesn't trust her over me and that the only reason he told her was because she traded other information. He told me not to make a big deal out of it but she told him about Shawn and me to get the information about him and his girlfriend.
I was furious when he told me this and the only thing keeping me from fucking exploding in her back stabbing, untrusting, face was that she was having some serious family issues.
Now, every time she tells me about the guys in her life I remember how she "traded information" about me and it drives me insane!! I wasnt to say something SO bad but since it happened last year I don't know how it'd turn out. What do I do here? I seriously can't take it anymore.
you have a right to be mad! if my friend did that to me, i'd want to kill her! but i wouldn't. anyway, you didn't ask this question for someone's life story, you asked so you could get advice. and here is mine: talk to melissa. and talk to shawn. first, tell melissa that she hurt you, and that wasn't a good thing to do. tell her that even though she is your friend, and you care about her, that that really hurt you. she needs to know. but, DON'T TELL HER THAT MARK TOLD YOU, ok? that would just piss her off, at mark. so that's the first thing to do. then you need to talk to shawn. you need to let him know that you told someone. and, since it was like a year ago, maybe it's ok to let everyone know that you guys fooled around. i mean, once a little secret gets out, more tend to leak, trusts are broken, and friendships are not as strong sometimes. it could be that this secret needs to get out in the open. that would be the best way to put this all behind you. to forget it ever happend.
hope i could help! and, remember-even though melissa told, she cares about you. and she is your friend. she hurt you, and you know how that feels, so don't hurt her, ok?