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i have this friend, N. shes on medication for depression and goes to see a theropist once every week or something. her mom is an alcoholic, and that being said, N drinks and smokes pot mostly because her mom wouldnt like it. her mom also emotionally abuses her and yells at her all the time, and their level of communication is -10. N sometimes gets on my nerves, for instance: she'll call herself a junkie because she took a sleeping pill and liked the effect. she'll call herself a stoner because she'd smoke a little weed every night for a week and get kind of high, and actually thinks shes addicted to it. and she'll call herself a slut just because she made out with someone she wasnt dating. she tries to be all these things that shes not, just to get on her moms nerves, or just to go against her wishes.
and usually when she does this, im very cold to her and give her short replies to her questions and stay mad at her for a while.
well, tonight, i guess it all broke loose. she took 5 shots earlier before going to church to see her best friend, S. S and N have been best friends for a long time, and they both come from disfunctional families and get along great and always have fun together. N's mom doesnt like S because she thinks shes a bad influence on her daughter, and therefore wont N see her. N has been upset about this for a long time, and her relationship with S has gone down the drain because of it. they still talk, but they arent best friends anymore. N had a fight with her mom earlier and texted me about it and i was still mad at her from something stupid she said earlier, so i wasnt there for her when things were going bad. next thing i know, N is texting me, telling me "goodbye" and saying she loves me and that shes sorry for everything. we had just started texting, so i was confused as to why she wanted to say bye...
i called her up and she was bawling her eyes out and was about to kill herself. i offered to ask my parents to come and get her, but she said it'd just make things worse with her mom. i didnt know what else to do! i couldnt give her any advice, and my mind just went blank. all i could tell her was to not do anything she'd regret, and that i love her. i made her promise she wouldnt OD on anything, and we hung up. ive been kicking myself in the ass for this for hours. i dont know what else to do.
what can i say to make her feel better? all her friendships have gone to hell because of her mom and her mom is ruining her life and i dont know what to do or say to make her feel better. i just feel like a bad friend because friends are supposed to help eachother, but i cant help her! what do i do?!?!?
*sorry this is so long, but it was a long story.. (link)
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Don't panic!
that's number one.
it sounds like she needs some serious help. don't kick yourself. you have a couple options.
1. talk to your guidance teacher at your school and then talk to your friend about going to see him/her
2. comfort her just say soothing things and tell her the bad image she makes herself look.
3. don't get mad at her. she really needs help i know it might be hard but you have to feel sorry for her instead.
4. and it is important to not get to mixed up in this mess with her mom and her. don't let her mom hurt your friendship though.
5. talk to her about calling herself these things and how bad it is. tell her of a good future the future she will have if she stops all her bad habits and becomes a good person, maybe suggest donating to a charity for people in her position?
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17/girl.
(This may be long, sorry.)
I'm really confused about my one best friend. Her name is Sara and she is really nice and funny, and she is like my best friend since 6th or 7th grade. (I'm in 10th right now.) So we've been pretty close for awhile. Well, this year I made a ton of new really close friends, and I introduced them to her and they liked her (they weren't like friend though) but they thought she was nice and everything. Sara has a really great personality, except for one tiny flaw. She is a hugeeeeee liar. She did something really mean to one of my very close friends. I'm not going to explain it, because it is very long. But, she did something so unbelievable, you wouldn't even think of it. But anyway, that happened a few months ago. She basically went behind my back, lied, hurt me, and 5 other people.. at least, and it was just horrible. I was so in shock, I didn't know how to handle it. So, I never really like yelled at her for it or anything, it was just so unbelievable. Well anyway, I don't trust anything she says anymore. I know she is still lying about a lot of stuff. It's really hard to be best friends with someone when you don't trust them.. i'm afraid to bring it up because i hate confrontation and it just sometimes doesn't seem worth it. It bothers me everyday, all of my other friends absolutely hate her. So, it also makes hanging out with all of them on weekends hard too. She doesn't have many friends, besides me and maybee like 3 other people, tops. So, it's hard to just ditch her. I don't really want to do that anyway though. What should I do? I'm so confused.
If you'd like to know the full story, let me know. :) it gets really into detail, and anyone willing to listen and give me more advice, that would be greatttt. thank youuu. (link)
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you shouldn't let her hurt your relationship with other people. first tell her the truth about how she acts if she doesn't clean up her act then you need to let her go. she can still be your friend but not your best friend. obviously its not a tiny flaw, she has something wrong and she might hurt you or one of your friends again. there are plenty of decent people in the world don't let her affect you.
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