Gender: Male
Location: Currently in Sao Paulo, Brazil
Occupation: Graduate School/EFL Teacher
Age: 23
Member Since: May 20, 2012
Answers: 32
Last Update: July 5, 2013
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I am pretty nice to the kids in my neighbourhood, and I think they're adorable and all. But I'm starting to get REAL annoyed, it's like I'm a kid magnet and they won't leave me alone. Seriously, no joke. They ring my door-bell right after they come home from school and they want me to play with them or take them to the park.. or they want to come inside my home and watch TV together or bake something together.
I don't mind it sometimes but I can't spend every minute of my day with them EVERY DAY. I go to school, I have work, and I need my own personal time. I think my issue is that I don't know how to say "no" and I feel like I'm being a bad person if I say no to them. But even if I say "oh no, not right now." They keep pestering me, and pestering me. What should I do? What can I do to create boundaries with them?
I can't even sit or eat in my backyward without them running over and invading my backyard. (link)
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I would agree that you need to communicate with the parents. They can better control when and where their kids can come visit you.
I have worked with children for about six years now, and if you want to communicate with them you will have to be firm and direct. Kids can be a little (ok extremely) pushy, and something like "not right now" becomes, "try again in five minutes".
Tell them that you need some time to take care of grownup stuff. If they don't listen, give them another warning but let them know that you are going to call their parents if they come back. At this point it is extremely important that you follow through with that if they do come back. If you don't, you lose credibility and they will walk all over you forever.
Children really do need boundaries in a situation like this. Unfortunately, they don't always pick up on the subtle hints adults are used to. It doesn't make you a bad person if you send them away, and you're unlikely to hurt any feelings too badly. Good luck and take care.
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