I have been rich, I have been poor, I have been elated, lost, I have succeeded and failed. And through that, I choose happiness. I am convinced that we have more choices and control than we think we have -- even when life feels out of control. Anne Frank summarizes it aptly with her last written words, "Despite everything, I believe people are really good at heart."
For most of my life, I have been the one people call when they have problems. My personal goal is to be a haven, a person who people can let their guard down with, the world is full of enough people with expectations. I believe in being human.
I consider it an honor when someone shares a problem or issue and I do not take that responsiblity lightly. And it is also a joy.
I am a published writer, and am using this site as my trial run at being an advice columnist. My friends who are 20 and 30 years older often describe me as wise and encourage their friends to talk with me as well. I have seen much of the world as a communcations consultant and have been told most of my life that I have this "gift."
I hope that my words bring hope to you and guide your soul in the direction of your heart.
Gender: Female
Location: I have traveled much
Occupation: Consultant
Member Since: October 15, 2006
Answers: 4
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I'm a virgin and I want to stay a virgin until marriage. Don't get my wrong; this question is not about fighting perr pressure to change my mind. Actually, I'm worried about my friends. There are only 4 girls in my church youth group including me. The other three have all lost their virginity. (My youth group age range is 11-15 btw) One of them is a slut, mostly because she's gulliable and likes guys WAY TOO MUCH. Another one of them, my cousin, lost her virginity to a player, and now has fallen for another player, who is a guy in my youth group! He's the brother of the slut, and he's a manwhore, too. She's determined to make him fall in love with her, even if it means using her body to tempt him. She made a video for her of herself acting sexy and talking dirty. Luckily she hasn't given it to him yet. Now, outside my youth group... One of my long-time crushes (age 14) who also goes to church and was our 8th grade valedictorian... he's a teen father. He got his girlfriend pregnant. And she's only 14, too. So, I'm really scared. I don't want my friends to get STDs or get pregnant. I want them to have morals. Plus, if they are acting like this... is there anyone left out there besides me whose still decent? These people are Christians, you'd think they'd have some sense! But they don't! I'm already worried that I'm never going to be able to find a husband that hasn't been with another girl... Yet I'm so powerless because if I boss around my friends, they won't be my friends anymore. HELP! & Sorry this is so long! (link)
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I am sorry you are stressed out about this, I was in a similar situation when I was younger, I was the "good-girl" so-to-speak, and it can be a little confusing because of what is going on outside the church is the complete opposite of what is being taught inside the church.
Fortunately, you do see that their behavior is dangerous and it is good that you see it! What they are doing is DEFINITELY more dangerous than fun, but I think the real reason you are writing is that you feel "different" -- and it is really, really hard to be different, but you are doing great.
I think deep down, because you are just human, a part of you wants to be like them, but you can't and won't because you are wise of the consequences. Stick to that, and find friends with similar values.
And for goodness sake, don't worry about a husband now. When it's time, you are going to be quite the catch -- for waiting :)
Gypsi Laine
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