AshokLifeCoach's advice column | AshokLifeCoach's Advice About Friendship

askAshokLifeCoach

advice column ask question view feedback favorite columnist advicenators

Q: I have known this boy since elementary school and we are seniors in high school now. I never really liked him in this way until this year.. I sit at the same table with him And 3 other classmates with whom we share a friendship with that's hard to explain. One of my girlfriends at the table knows how I feel towards him And she notices how we fight like a married couple. I really like him And he talks to me like I'm his wife or something. We argue all the time but I think it's just a part of our chemistry. My question is how do I know if he really likes me the way I like him or if he's just joking all the time. By the way he's only dated white And Hispanic girls in the past And I'm African American And so is he.

Hi,

Thank you for your question to my inbox - it is my pleasure to help you with this.

It made me smile when you said you argue all the time but its a part of your chemistry - I absolutely get that. Some of the people I get on with the most in the world and have the closest friendships with I argue 'like cat and dog' with!

I know it can feel daunting to be really upfront and just come out with it when you like someone - especially when that person is a friend and you worry about spoiling the friendship if they don't feel the same. However I am a firm believer in the saying 'life is for living' and I would encourage you to just go for it. Imagine if he does feel the same - you end up together as a great couple. You will never ever know unless you take the plunge. I know there is a risk but as a life coach I always tell my clients never to 'deal in hypothetical negatives' - that is to dwell on or give lots of thought to potential negatives or bad outcomes that may well never happen but could stop you going for what you want. If we never take risks because of something unpleasant that might happen we would never get any of the great things that could happen. That would be no way to live at all.

I can tell 100% by the way you phrase your question and the things that you say that you have REALLY really fallen for him - I say you go for it!

Truth is go cant be sure of the outcome or how he feels till you ask - you can guess, probably make an educated guess - but the only way to know is to ask!!

As we say here in the UK 'The best of British' - meaning - 'The Very Best of Luck'.

Take care and once again good luck!!

Ashok

bio

As a teenager I was an avid advicenators user - hence my motivation to return as an older and hopefully wiser guy, who now has professional training in Hypnotherapy, CBT, NLP and Life Coaching.

My advice will always be honest and to the point. I won't chase high ratings by telling people what they want to hear if that's not what I believe they need to hear! Though your ratings and feedback are appreciated of course.

My mantra in my coaching work is to enable my clients to go confidently in the direction of their dreams and live the life they imagined. That's how I believe we should all live.

Ashok

Info

Gender:

Male

Occupation:

Entrepreneur also Hypnotherapist and Life Coach

Age:

Member Since:

August 30, 2014

Answers:

Last Update:

January 16, 2015

Visitors:

3566

Main Categories:

layout by Adam Particka