My name is Melissa and I'm sixteen. I decided to make this account because I absolutely adore helping people. I believe everyone deserves to be happy and deserves to be heard. Sometimes you think you'll be fine by yourself, but it's harder to walk on your own. Everyone needs to reach out to someone at one point, and I would love to be there for anyone who needs it. Making people smile is my favorite thing in this world. What completely inspired me to do this was getting through tough times of my own, and helping other people through their's..I've been told my advice is "enlightening" and I'd love to share itw ith whoever needs it. I just hope I can help, and I promise to try my best. :D
E-mail: emailforouts@aim.com
Gender: Female
Location: Philly, PA
Occupation: High School Student
Age: 16
Member Since: June 5, 2010
Answers: 14
Last Update: March 9, 2011
Visitors: 2072
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I just found out that my dad smokes pot. I'm 16, straight-edge, and almost in tears. I've always looked up to him! What do you do when you find out your DAD does something that, since you were 10, you've been told not to do. I have NO ONE to talk to about it. I'm afraid to talk to my mom. What if she doesn't know? What if she DOES?? What if she does it too??? I'm afraid my friends will judge my family if I talked to them, and even if I were to talk to them, I'm on vacation for three weeks and... I just couldn't tell them over the internet... I feel like a kid who just found out there's no santa. I know there's nothing I can really do about it. Some kids would think it's "cool" if their parents smoked but I'm disgusted. I'm sorry to be venting this all to you, but OUTS is gone and when I went to it's page I saw your link...
Thank you, by the way, for helping everyone out, I know it means a lot. (link)
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There's no santa!?!?!? :O hehehe. Jussstt kidding. Hey! don't apologize for venting to me. That's why I made this, and I am glad you came to me..and thanks for thanking me. That really meant a lot to me :) Yea, I hate that OUTS is gone as well. That's when I decided to try and find an advice column to make, because I know people still need it..
Anyway, I'm really sorry this happened to you. I'm sixteen and straight-edge as well, and I know I'd be heartbroken if I found out one of my parents smokes pot. I just want to say really quick, that I'm extremely proud of you for being straight-edge..most people our age aren't anymore, and I know it can be tricky sometimes, but I really respect you for that. Don't feel ashamed to talk to your friends about this! If they're true friends, they are not going to judge you..and even if anyone were to, they can't judge YOU based on your father's decisions. I can only imagine how hard this is for you to put up with, but as I read that, all I could think was..well, it's not you that started doing drugs, so you should not feel ashamed or guilty. I understand that you would feel afraid to talk to your mom..because if she doesn't know what he does, it might cause them to argue or some kind of tension. Honestly, though, you should try talking to her..because if she doesn't know,yes it may make her mad at him as well, but she could try to help him get out of this bad habit..and if she does know, maybe when she realizes how much you care and are concerned, she'll try to convince him. Then the worst case scenario, if she does it too, then you can just talk to the two of them about it. I mean, even talk to your dad about it. Something along the lines of.. "Dad, I found out you smoke pot, and it really upset me that you would go and do something you've been encouraging me not to all of my life. Do you know how that makes me feel!?" I know that seems realllllyy awkward, but I think being open with him may help. Even if it doesn't, and he keeps doing this, it doesn't mean he's a bad person. Many people do drugs as an escape from reality..an escape from some kind of pain or sadness, or other complication in their life. I'm not supporting drugs or anything else like that, I'm just trying to reason with you why your father would do this. But sweetheart, you're on vacation! Try to let it go for now and not worry about it. Easier said than done, I know..but just try to keep yourself occupied and your mind off of it until you at least are home. Don't ruin your vacation :( and when you're home, try talking to him about how this makes you feel, no matter how awkward it makes you feel. I'm sorry if this doesn't help much, but I really did try. The way I see it, is that your dad made a stupid decision that you are completely against. it probably feels almost as if he betrayed you..but you know what? Don't beat yourself up over this. I know you love him, but this is all his decision. Don't make yourself feel bad about it. All you can do is talk to him..be as open as you can, and try to convince him to stop. I agree with what you said about some kids thinking their parents smoking is cool, and I don't think it is either. Some people do drugs just for the fun of it, and some people do them because they feel they have no other option, you know? Anyway, please stop stressing yourself over this hun! If you feel you want to talk to him or your mom or your friends or anyone after vacation, do it. Don't be afraid ro, because in the long run, you'll feel so much better that you were open with them. I hope this helps. Good luck with everything and I am SO proud of you. I hope everything turns out okay. Keep your head up, you can get through this :) and if you ever need someone to vent to or advice about absolutely anything in the world, feel free to write to me. Hope you have an amazing vacation! :)
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