I am a professional writer, a full-time person, armchair philosopher and student of the human condition.
In my advice, I strive to be lucid, objective, and factual.
I believe in chasing your joy, enjoying your life experience, and being the person you feel in your guts you are supposed to be.
I hold that the best dispensers of wisdom are those most accomplished makers of mistakes.
Gender: Male
Age: 30
Member Since: December 17, 2009
Answers: 4
Last Update: December 17, 2009
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Is it horrible for me to hate my sister?
We have never really gotten along before. I am 21 and she is 19. We have both had very different up bringings. I was raised by my grandparents and she was raised by my mother.
She is a very attention seeking person and will do what others tell her or do or say things to fit in a crowd.. She doesn't work, throws in all her jobs because she doesn't want to work.
She has very minor 'operations' (its just like having a pap smear) and writes it all over face book for everyone to see. She never even finished school.
where as I, I have always worked since I finished year 12. In good jobs to, first in a lawyers office now in a doctors surgery. I have also studied through TAFE.
My grandfather who raised me passed away suddenly in August. He was only 58 and was never sick before, he suffered from a stroke and was in a coma for 30days before passing.
Now the problem is my sister is putting all over face book that she 'misses and loves her poppy' Um hello... she never had anything to do with him for 4 years!!! Every time our parents told her she had to come to nanna and pops house she would make herself vomit so she didn't have to go.
She's never really had anything to do with me before either. This isn't the only things that are contributing to my feelings of hate towards her.
Should I confront her and tell her that I wont don't want anything to do with her anymore and that she should stop writing things about my pop whom she's had nothing to do with for 4 years? Other wise i'm going to end up doing something childish that I will regret!
Thank you (link)
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I see two actual questions here, so I'm going to address them individually:
1) "Is it horrible for me to hate my sister?"
I would say, more than "horrible", it's just unfortunate. Insofar as I don't believe that valueless, obligatory tolerance, respect or "love" of one's relatives is "right" (or sincere, for that matter), I don't believe that annoyance, dislike, or even hatred of them is necessarily "wrong".
I'll put it this way: It's okay to dislike people that you dislike.
You spent your entire life building your value-judgements, and no one has the right to tell you that you have to pretend like you don't think and feel for the sake of anyone - even people who happen to share your DNA.
"But she's your sister!"
Yeah? And what does that mean, exactly? Is there a mystical relationship there, buried in potential, that you couldn't form with another person?
"But friends come and go! Family is forever!"
I think that's largely sentimental, unrealistic crap. Moreover, I think that it can sometimes be the problem with "family": It's easier to crap on someone you assume doesn't have the power to divest themselves of your BS. They take for granted that we'll be around "forever". And most of us will.
You are in no way obligated to give your sister a pass when it comes to your opinion of her. She has the right to make her choices, and you have the right to think of them what you will, and moreover, to do with that thinking what you will.
Now, for your second question.
2) "Should I confront her and tell her that ... she should stop writing things...?"
The answer to this one is simple, and you already know it: Take Her Off Of Your Facebook.
I have mixed opinions on social networking sites. For this purpose, I'm curious to know why, if you dislike this girl so much, you have her on there to begin with. Too keep track of her personal business? So that you won't miss a single, infuriating post?
Ditch her. She probably won't even notice, and if she does, so what? If you eliminate the avenues through which she annoys you, you'll find that pretty soon, she isn't annoying you. She sounds like a pretty big loser, so why are you worried about what she posts, anyway?
In this case, the answer is pretty simple: Remove the problem, and the problem goes away. If her Facebook posts are annoying you, you can make it so that you don't see them anymore.
If she's as transparent as you say, it's safe to assume that other people see it, too. If someone's out there taking her seriously, how interested can you really be in what they think, either?
People like this are hungry for attention. Attention on your end means energy. Let her starve, I say, and move on. You have a lot of good things going for you more deserving of your focus.
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