about

I'm Allie :)

I love lacrosse, field hockey, running, talking, boys, summer, and Boston.

I'm very forward. If you don't want an honest answer, don't ask the question.

I'll do my best. =P

advice

So originally I had like an essay question
but it was too much.
So I'm gonna be short and to the point.
How do I forgive somebody
who ruined my family,
tried to kill me and my mom,
and made all of our lives HELL
for over 16 years
and doesn't even realize
there was a problem?

~Topaz

You don't. Or at least I wouldn't.
You can tell yourself and others that you forgive them, but deep down, do you? And would you want to?
I would cut off all communication with that person. I realize that this is very hard to do, but try your best. It's better to not give that person any attention or recognition.

The person didn't realize it was a problem? They didn't realize that murder is a problem?! Well, then I would think that they are immensely flawed. You don't need to associate with potential murderers.

Also, I don't believe that people change. Or, if they do, they only do under extreme circumstances. If the person doesn't realize what they are doing is a problem, then they most likely won't change.

If anything, that person should be asking you and your family for forgiveness.
Good luck and I hope everything works out okay. =]

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My mom is like addicted to alcohol. Every weekend, when she is off work, she has like a 12-pack of beer. Some times less; some times more. Even when she is working, on occasion she'll sneak in a few beers before work or after. And she never finds the time to spend time with the family. She makes promises she'll skip a weekend, or a day at least, to do something "as a family" but she ends up getting drunk when she gets home from work on Friday. She breaks my heart so much when she makes promises, then breaks them. I do know alcoholism is [like] a disease that's hard to cure, but is there anything I can do to help her??

She knows the long-term side effects, like liver disease and other problems. She knows she has a problem, but she is always denying it. And there are times when she does gets drunk she gets violent. I CAN'T turn her in or anything, because then my dad would kill me. But just personally, what can I do to help her?

Thanks

Hey,
In this situation, I think the best thing to do is confront her when she's sober. Tell her that her drinking is really upsetting to you and that if she gets caught, she could get into seriously trouble as she can get physical while drunk. Don't hold back when you're telling her. Maybe you'll get the message across to her.

Also, I would recommend talking to your dad. Ask him to talk to your mom also, and ask him to throw any alcohol you have in the house away. This could result in your mom drinking less, even if she buys the alcohol herself.

I hope things get better for your family.
Al

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