HI!
My name is Tiffany (my friends call me Tipher) and I am a married thirty-smoething with child. (there's 2 bad sitcoms all in one lol). I've been around a little and am ready to answer even the hard quesitons...no poking fun or anything, just my absolute honest opinion and advice.
Gender: Female
Location: Anaheim CA
Occupation: in tansition
Age: 35
Member Since: February 8, 2005
Answers: 28
Last Update: February 14, 2005
Visitors: 5672
Main Categories:
Parenting
Plants and Gardens
Etiquette
View All
|
| |
|
My husband and I were talking the other day and he said that if he died he would not want a funeral. I was shocked. Of course he should have a funeral, it's a great way for family and friends to say goodbye. I feel it is more for the family of the deceased anyway. He disagrees, and is shocked that I would not respect his wishes. Who is right here? And if he did die, what are we as a family suppose to do? I would like the love and support of my faamily. (link)
|
You should respect his wishes. It is essentially his "last request" as it were and to disrespect his wishes means that what you want outweighs what he wants. Your families may be shocked but consider what he wants. Has he told you why? Have you asked or did you just light into him and tell him his opinion was wrong (as a side note, an opinion is NEVER wrong-just different). He may have a good reason for his beliefs. I personally agree but I was raised to remember the deceased as they were, not all made up in a coffin. It's creepy.
I have had several friends and family die and respected each as they believed: some had wakes and funerals and I attended to pay respects, my paternal grandparents donated their bodies to science (to reduce expenses for family and to do one last good deed) and had no memorial-I made a personal observance and got on with mylife remembering them as they were. The point is, to each his own and disrespecting beliefs is what get us into trougle eventually on a global scale. Is there some way to come to a compromise? Maybe no funeral but a memorial servied for friends and family or an Irish wake? Maybe he deosn't want to burden youwith arrangements and expenses. Maybe he wants to be remembered pleasantly, not with mourning. Maybe it is just how he was brought up. Try to discuss this in a rational, mature way that ends in a compromise. avoid shouting, accusing, and pushing your opinsions on each other.
|
|