Seriously, I have been through it all. You name it, I've been there, done that, seen those things... I've always been told I'm a good listener, and have always been told I'm a great friend who gives amazing advice. I don't know how true that is, I mean after all, I'm no doctor or therapist. But I am caring, and I do want to help. Maybe that's all that really matters. But most importantly: I will not judge you! You are my equal here!
Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you. - Deuteronomy 31:6
Gender: Female
Age: 25
Member Since: August 8, 2013
Answers: 19
Last Update: September 11, 2013
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I have never wanted children. My entire life I have never felt that urge to mother, but I've recently found myself thinking about it more often. My boyfriend does want children, and its something we have talked pretty seriously about. Just trying to see it from each others point of views.
I don't know if I want kids now because my boyfriend does, or if its something else. I'm 22 and I just recently got promoted at my job, and my boyfriend is 28 and just enrolled in his doctorate programs, on top of having a full time job. It just wouldn't be a smart thing to do right now. Idk what I'm asking, I guess its more of an "is it normal to all the sudden have these feelings?" Kind of question...please help (link)
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Hey there!
I am a mom myself. I never pictured myself with a child, not once was a child something I ever thought about as a teen or young adult. So I can relate to the way your feeling in some ways.
Of course it's normal to have feelings like those. You are a woman after all. :P But there's nothing wrong with wondering what life would be like as a parent and maybe even desiring those bonds. Being a parent is like nothing else in the world. It's better than anything else in the world, even through the rough times.
As far as actually having a baby, timing isn't everything. I honestly believe that if everyone waited to have children until they were "ready" or financially stable, or had their degree, or had a bigger place or a better job, that few people would ever end up having children. (Perhaps that would be better for the Earth and its economy - but that's a discussion for another time.)
You never know what will happen in life. I feel like, it's a good idea to have hopes for a perfect timeline of events leading up to and involving a baby at some point. But it's unrealistic.
There will always be major pros and major cons to having a baby at any point in your life. It really just comes down to whether or not you and your spouse are ready to throw a baby into the mix that is your lives together and be responsible and loving parents on top of your other responsibilities.
More often than not, people don't plan children and they aren't ready for them and have a very hard time giving up things that are required of them to wake throughout the night for a newborn, to provide for a baby and to enrich a toddler and more.
More than finding the right time, since I believe there really is no "right" or "perfect" time, decide on whether or not the both of you actually want and are ready and prepared for a baby and to give up and change the things that make you happy and comfortable now.
You will still be happy and comfortable, don't get me wrong. But how you get to happy and comfortable will be very different with a baby than without one, lol. I would also consider marriage first. Whether you are religious or not, it's proven that being married before children puts you at a much higher rate of success in parenting and lowers your chance of divorce drastically as well. :)
Good luck and may God bless you!
xoxo
MissAshlee
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