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and the fact that I won't be able to attend her funeral tomorrow afternoon.
This was a girl-my age-who was in a car crash with her mom and two other boys, though they are fine and her mom is crying and blaming it on herself, the entire school is feeling it's effects. She died on Tuesday, Tuesday afternoon, I learned Wednesday. Everybody was crying and hugging each other, some even went home of sadness and paranoia, the shock really. Her locker is now covered with cards and heaven wishes, and my locker is next to hers. I cry when I go to my locker now, cry when I see my friends cry. I did avoid my locker today, and yesterday too. The whole week Wednesday forward has been unstable. I cry in my sleep now, and I had a nightmare last night. My parents have tried to cheer me up, but it's not working. I didn't even know the poor sweet girl, yet I feel a sort of connection with her, and she was only in one of my classes (homeroom) and my Gym class. She was an athlete, playing three sports in one year, another to grow on that. But she's gone now ... I wish I had gotten to know her better, have said "bye" to her before we left school Tuesday ... but it's too late. (link)
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Last year, a boy in our school passed away due to an enlarged heart condition. He always smiled and was the nicest person I knew. However, we weren't super close, just friends. In a high school of 150 kids, his passing was a large deal. It was an awful day filled with crying, tears, and regrets. A preacher came and did a small ceromony for a few hours that day. I understand that this is hard. You feel like you should have gotten to know them, and it made me fear how easily our friends and family can pass away. This is one of those times that life seems to remind us that we need to treat others as if it was the last day we would see them. Try to remember that she is in a better place. I don't know what religion, if any, you are part of, but I beleive we go to somewhere where there is no pain. Try to remember her as she was, mabye talk to a friend about it. It really helped me to call up my best friend and talk about it and cry. Neither one of us knew how to react to the situation and it helped that we did it together. Time doesn't heal all wounds, but it does help. Eventually, her death will become less stinging and you will learn to cope with the sadness. I am so sorry you have to go through this and hope you feel better. Take care.
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