thewinterbones's advice column | thewinterbones's Advice About Love Life

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Q: i need to do something. my life is going down the drain i need to self harm. i cant cut myself, it hurts too mcuh and i cant puke;. i dont want to hear that self-harm isnt the way. i dont care. does anyone out there self harm anyother way? any ideas?? it will make me feel better.

Well first of all cutting and puking isn't going to solve any of your problems. Either is getting on here asking strangers how to hurt yourself - to make yourself feel better? Self harm isnt the way to go. I used to be a cutter, and it deffinetly didn't solve anything..it made things worse. Get to the root of your problems that are making you feel sucky and go do something that makes you happy. Don't hurt yourself!

Q: ok so i like this one guy
and when i talk to him online and on the phone and stuff
hes always so cute and stuff
hes like i wanna cuddle with you
or give kisses
or like whenever i talk to you i cant stop smiling
and he gets speechless when he talks to me
and then he says i love you
but idk if he just saying that to lead me on?
or just a flirty kind of way?
or a liking kind of way?
because before we got like this he said he likes this other girl
and i asked him about her hte other day and hes like yeah i still like her but she likes someone else
so im like oh?
and then one day i asked him what he was doing and hes like nothing on my trampoline with some girls
and he was kinda being an ass
so i really dont know whta to do!!!
help!

Sounds like a typical guy. He apparently has feelings for you and is being an ass and talking about other girls to get you jealous.

Q: Jeanette is this girl i rly like and she likes me too because she has told me, but we havnt gotten around to goin newhere or nething... so how should i ask her to go to like the movies or somthin? I asked her b4 and she couldnt go...

Yes, you should ask her to go on a date with you, and if things are going well on the date you should ask her out.

Good luck :]

Q: Ok so i'm in 8th grade and my boyfriend and i have been going out about 2 weeks, he is really sweet and nice and i always feel completely comfortable around him but when it comes to holding his hand and stuff i kinda get nervous and freak out and start rambling on about random stuff. How do i kiss him and hold his hand but not be like freaking out? How can i still stay flirtatious and cute?

You just gotta losen up, noone can really tell you "how" to kiss him and hold him without freaking out.. Just relax when youre with him and realize there's nothing to be nervous about.

Q: Alright so i like this kid and we have been friends for a pretty long time but just this week he broke up with his gf should i ask him out or give him time plus i dont know if he likes me and i like him alot..? Plzzz help

Honestly I would wait a little while to give him time to figure out what he wants and then start to make a move and hint around you like him.. and eventually tell him how you feel about him. :]

-Mel

Q: my boyfriend and i broke up a few days ago but i really like him still. the other night, he said he really liked me too and he wanted to go back out. then his computer froze or something and he signed off. this morning he immed me and said he took back everything he said. since then i've been really depressed & i've been getting headaches and stomaches allllll day. i can't get him off my mind. is there something i could do to move on or get him back? pleae don't suggest finding a new boyfriend because i don't think i'm ready for that.

thanks xo

Ok basically, you can't make someone have feelings for you. you just cant. make the best out of everything and at least figure out what went wrong. i promise you that youll move on, just take some time and try going out with your friends and having fun often. do stuff that gets your mind off of him.

do NOT give in if he says anything like: "if u have sex then ill like you" or anything like that. it wont work out.

I don't suggest getting a new boyfriend so soon. But I do suggest to try and go have fun with friends and remind yourself that whats meant to be WILL find its way, everything happens for a reason, and there will be other guys; even if it doesnt seem like you could ever be with anyone again. You will.

-Mel

Q: ok so im going to the movies with this guy that likes me, and chances are that we are going to mke out...........

i've never made out with a guy befre so i need ta know where to lke put my hands nd stuff. and like how to make a move, and how to sit in the theater seats,

thanks much!#

Ahah I was nervous before. But you really shouldnt be. It doesnt matter what position youre in, i guess whatever is comfortable, start out by little pecks and stuff. I usually put my hands around his neck, or.. anywhere.. it doesnt really matter that much. go with the flow.

Q: i know turning a guy on can depend on the guy alot of the time. but are there any things that generally work a lot of the time to turn on a guy? like kissing them a certain way or whatnot? or a certain place?

Usually guys get real hard just by kissing. I usually straddle the guy while making out to let him feel my whole body against him. All guys are different, but pretty much all of them get hard extremely easy.