Since I'm so far from perfect, I figure I'm in good shape to give you advice. Chances are excellent that I've done or at least thought about whatever it is you're contemplating, so let me know what the matter is, and I'll give it my best effort.
Gender: Female
Occupation: 1st year law student
Age: 27
Member Since: July 31, 2004
Answers: 7
Last Update: August 1, 2004
Visitors: 1191
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Where to begin? I was seeing this girl off and on for 9 months. She was "using" this 55 yr old arab guy for rides and stuff. I didnt condone of the usery but I didnt feel like it was my place to tell her how to live. After about 5 month into the relationship I moved to miami( we are in VA). She came to visit for a week and it was like a honeymoon without the marrige. Everything was great. When she came back she told me she was pregnant. I sent money up there to her and had my friend drive her to the clinic. I sent her flowers everyday for a week afterwards. So I came back home and while we were spending time toghether through much over hearing the wrong conversations I suspected there was more to her and his relationship. I was right. In short the kid wasnt mine and I was being played the whole time. the break up was awful and I am emot. wrecked. I took her back only to find out she didnt give him up. Now my head is spinning and my heart in shattered. Any advice? (link)
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My advice has several steps, so bear with me.
1. Don't take her back again. She's already proven unfaithful, and she's betrayed your trust in ways that are just about unimaginable.
2. Don't have a big, drawn out goodbye letter or talk with her. She hurt you, and it's awful, but she probably knows it and telling her about it won't help anybody. If you really feel like setting it to paper, then write a letter but don't mail it to her. Hold on to it for at least a month before reading it again, and it should help you see how much better you're feeling.
3. Find a nice friend to take you out and show you a good time. Getting out of the house will help take your mind off what happened.
4. Date girls who live closer to you. Long distance relationships are hard even after a lengthy time investment. After only five months, they're just about impossible.
5. When you do meet another girl and take her to bed, always use protection. I know condoms are a major pain, but it's much harder for a girl to get pregnant if you always use condoms whether she likes it or not. You're protecting yourself not just from scams like this, but also from whatever she may have picked up from whoever she was with before you.
I hope this helps. Take care of yourself.
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Hi i have a gf and her 16th birthday is coming up soon and i have no clue what to get her.. I was thinking like a necklace with a heart on it... Do u have any suggestions? (link)
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When I was sixteen, my boyfriend gave me a book of my favorite poetry with a really sweet inscription on the inside cover. I still really treasure the book because I know how much thought he put into choosing it and I can read his message to the old me at any time.
So, why not pick something that she really cares about and then personalize it somehow? Maybe she's not into poetry, but she really likes music or comic books etc. If you could get her favorite whatever for her and have it signed by the maker that would be stunnning, but if not, just pick out something that you know she cares about and give it with an affectionate note or card.
She'll always appreciate that you knew her well enough to get her something that matters to her, and not just a generic "girly birthday" kind of gift.
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