I am a very outgoing, opptomistic, energetic, caring, patient individual. I seem to have a knack for helping others with their relationship issues. I am always very honest with my advise and tend to tell it like it is. Although some things are hard to hear at first, in the end it seems that honesty and frowardness are really what people look for and need to hear. I don't claim to know all and I have certainly made my share of mistakes and bad decisions but I have tried to learn and grow from every one of them.
E-mail: liddybeesands@gmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: Whittier, CA
Occupation: homemaker and mother
Age: 30
Member Since: May 13, 2009
Answers: 7
Last Update: May 18, 2009
Visitors: 1775
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ok I am 17 and i have been with my boyfriend for about 2 and a half years and we just had a baby together and no it wasn't planned but we decided to keep her now she is about 2 months and my boyfriend he is there for me and her but the thing is he would rather spend time with his friends i know he loves me but ok the real question is what can i do to make are relationship better is there anything that i can say that will touch his heart deeply? (link)
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You have to remember that no matter how much he may love you and your' baby he is still only 17 and was not counting on being a father so early in life I'm sure so it is perfectly natural of him to still want to spend time with his friends. I would say that what it comes down to is how serious is he about being a father? i would sit him down and remind him that you decided together to keep this child and to be parents so that is what he needs to be right now. Let him know that it won't be long before the baby is a toddler and then a child and doesn't require as much attention and care and that then you both will be able to get out a little more and have some of your' social life back. In the end though you are both parents now and have someone else to worry about and it will never be the same as it was before. Parenting means giving up a lot in order to best meet the needs of your' children. You may also have to face the fact that no matter what he may have thought or said before the baby came along it just may be that he really wasn't as prepared to be a father as he thought and that he isn't as willing to give up his friends and his time and that's just the way it is.
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I am 19, dating a 20 year old, and he is my first boyfriend. Not only that, but my first kiss, my first love, my first sex, my first everything. However, for him it is a different case. He has already told numerous girls that he loves them, and he has had sex with 11 other girls beside me within a 3 year time period (he was only in a serious relationship with 3 of those).
I feel bad, because we have been dating for 1 year 5 months but I STILL can not get over this. It disgusts me sometimes, makes me feel sad that I'm not his only, and makes me wish I had someone with less of a sexual past. People on other advice forums have constantly told me to get over myself, but the thing is it is easier to say than do. I would want so badly not to care about this because I love him, but it creeps back into my mind so often. The good thing is, I think about it less and less as the relationship progresses, but I want it to reach the point of NOTHING!!
Please don't call me selfish or tell me I need to get over myself. I dont need to hear that. I already know its crappy of me to focus on it so much. (link)
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First off I want to start by saying that I don't think it is silly or selfish of you to feel this way at all. It's completely natural. When you love someone you generally don't want to share them and especially since you have never been with anyone else yourself. As I see it you have two options. You can either just get over it and move on because there is nothing that can be done about it. he can't go back and not be with those people so there really is no point in dwelling on it and if you just can't seem to get past it then you may need to face the fact that you simply can't and end the relationship. If this is not an option for you then you can ask him about these past experiences. I know that is what worked for my husband and myself. Maybe if you learn about these past relationships and good or hopefully bad they were then it won't sting so much. I think that so often it is the unknown that eats us up. We tend to allow ourselves to believe or fear that what or who came before us may have been better and that tears us up inside. Perhaps if you find out just how he felt about these people and experiences you will be a little more at ease. If you have any questions or good news to report please let me know. Hope I helped, even if only just a little.
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