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Q: i have an amazing boyfriend and i love him so much, like he is everything i dreamed of.. but the other day like one of my best friends *bob* told me that he has liked me since sixth grade, that i am amazing, and he is so jealous of my boyfriend, and how perfect i am and how much i mean to him.. and the thing is i liked *bob* for like 4 years and then i met my boyfriend. i talked to my mom about it.. and she said i shoudl try hanging out with *bob* to see if i like him or w/e so i went to the movies with him last night.. and had SO much fun.. would this be considered cheating ? am i a terrible person for like questioning my love for my bf ? and what do you think is the best way for me to tell my bf about this... ?
15-f if that makes any difference..
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Simply the fact that you are considering breaking up with your boyfriend for Bob is enough reason to end the current relationship. However, I wouldn't rush into anything serious with Bob until you spend some time together platonically and make sure these feelings are real, not just a leftover crush from when you liked him before. You should spend some time by yourself to sort out the complicated feelings you are having and tell your boyfriend that you care about him, but that you need some time alone, which will be true if you don't get involved with Bob right away. If you are patient and take your time with Bob, you'll feel better about the situation in the long run because you won't have guilt from cheating on someone. Of course, your boyfriend will be hurt, but he would be more hurt if he new you were leaving him for Bob. At this point, you are not obligated to tell him everything. If things don't work out with Bob and you end up wanting to get back with your boyfriend, then you will need to tell him what happened while you were apart. Jumping from boyfriend to boyfriend, especially with overlap (meaning you start dating the new one before ending it with the old one), is not conducive to a healthy emotional state. If you become too used to constantly having a romantic companion, you forget how to be single, which makes breaking up with men even harder because you are afraid of being alone.
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bio
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I have much advice to give you as I have probably tried everything at least once. I've studied human behavior for years by immersing myself in various environments and participating in different rituals. Sometimes this involves morally questionable activities, but I feel the need to understand the way the deviant mind works as well as that of more cooperative members of society. After analyzing my experiences, I've come to the conclusion that our reactions and interactions are all basically the same at the core. No matter the situation, I should be able to dig up some first-hand wisdom for you.
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Info
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Location: Mystic, Connecticut Occupation: Anthropologist Member Since: March 16, 2005 Answers: 4 Last Update: March 24, 2005 Visitors: 1689
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