I'm a twenty-four year old biologist recently graduated from Kansas State University and still looking for work. My research interests are primarily in the realm of molecular genetics, specifically mutagenesis and the genetic basis of cancers.
Apparently I've managed to get a decent hold on the whole relationship mess as my girlfriend and I are relatively happy and living together after dating for approximately five years.
E-mail: belgand [at] planetfortress [dot] com
Gender: Male
Location: Kansas, USA
Occupation: Biology student
Age: 24
Member Since: October 18, 2003
Answers: 29
Last Update: February 26, 2004
Visitors: 3695
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I'm 22, almost finished with college, and currently living with my parents. I desparately want to move out of my house, and I would like to live with my boyfriend, but I am vacillating between both sides. I don't know if I should just go ahead and get a place with him, or stay at home until I graduate (with all my bills and tuition paid, therefore no financial stress on me). (link)
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It really depends on a lot of other issues that you haven't brought up.
Personally I'm 22, in my last year of college, and have been living with my girlfriend of three years since the beginning of the year. We both lived in the dorms before this and were essentially living together for the past two years. After the dorms changed some policies and I found I wouldn't get the kind of room I desired we decided to move in together. Since we go to school a decent distance from home we really don't have any option to live there. Finances are totally covered by our parents for the same rate as we got in the dorms.
Really this is a good situation for us. Your will depend on various criteria:
How long have you been dating? Do you think this be too large a step?
Why do you want to move out? Freedom? Just tired of your parents? Want to experience living on your own?
What's the financial situation? Are you working? Is he? Are you both in school? If so for how long will he be in school? How is school being paid for?
How does he feel about this?
Basically if you think you can afford to get your own place without taking two jobs each, won't be moving too fast in the relationship, and think it's the right thing to do then do it. Give it some time though and think it over.
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Lately I developed a liking towards a guy friend in my dorm. Every time it was just the two of us together, or just the two of us and perhaps one other close friend, he would act very solicitous towards me--he would do small things such as put his arm around my shoulder, hold my books for me, etc. I have also had many wonderful conversations with him in his room and elsewhere. So I was hopeful until this week, when I found out that he has asked another girl to a date event and has feelings towards her. Now I wonder if he felt something towards me but was discouraged by my inaptitude in flirting--I have difficulty playing that whole game of hinting and whatnot. It's a foreign language to me. (link)
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If it really seems like he's interested only in this other girl you may have missed the boat for now. Otherwise, don't mess around with the flirting. It's obvious that you're interested in him and trying to send him vague signals just isn't good for anyone. Guys are often very intimidated by that sort of thing and don't know whether women are interested in them or not. It likely has nothing to do with your abilities to flirt so much as everyone's inability to tell precisely what someone else is thinking.
The only way to be certain is to ask him out. Try something safe and only slightly more date-ish at first. I don't know your relationship so it's hard to suggest, but if you start things slowly and move towards a relationship from there the chances of overshooting the level of comfort and hurting your friendship will be lessened. If he isn't interested in that sort of relationship with you he'll probably notice and be able to let you down easily that he isn't interested in that.
Ultimately though the only way to deal with relationships is to be direct and honest about how you feel. This is important in all stages of a relationship, including those before it even starts.
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Everybody in my school has already had like 10 boy/girl friends... I've had none. Thats right... zip, zero, zilch! They all say how great it is to be hooked up, and they always have someone to dance with at activity nite. I have nobody!
Sincerely,
BoyCrazy (link)
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As everyone else has already said you don't need a boyfriend.
You're also not a freak for not having one. I started dating my girlfriend of close to four years when I was 19 and it's been the only actual relationship for either of us. A friend of mine is a sophmore in college and has never had a "girlfriend". Other friends have dated one or two people and are likewise in their early twenties. Most people didn't have a girlfriend of boyfriend in high shool and if they did there was maybe one or two if it was more than some two week fling.
You'll probably find someone later on in life, but it's really not a big deal.
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Okay, so i REALLY like this guy. But I don't think he would like me back. I'm in 8th grade and i've never gone on a date or "gone out" with anyone before. If I asked out any guy in the school they'd probably rush me to the hospital or ask me if I was joking. I dunno, maybe i just have low self esteem. But the guy I like is pretty quiet and really smart. Please don't tell me to just go for it, cause if he said no, it would haunt me forever!! (i'm sort of a drama queen. shut up.) So I guess my question is: How can you tell if a guy likes you/would go out with you without actually asking him? (link)
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8th grade seems a little young to be honest. I'm sure you're very mature and such, but the truth is that very few relationships start and last for any length of time in middle school. Sorry.
My suggestion is to try and become better friends with him. Get to know him and maybe in a year or two it might be a better time to go after him. When you do, just do it. I know, it's not the answer you want, but it's the only one that really works. Trust me, no one is going to care that much if it doesn't pan out and it probably stands a good chance of doing just that (maybe it's just me, but most guys are pretty accepting and will probably readily go out at least once with a girl that asks them out unless they're some sort of too cool for thier own good Mr. Popularity type). Just be honest and true and treat it like ripping off a band-aid. It might sting a bit, but it'll be over and a lot better than worrying over it.
Still, try to become better friends first. It's been the first step before a relationship for pretty much every single person I know right now.
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Okay, there are a couple of guys that I like, and I've never had a boyfriend before (I'm a junior in high school). I keep getting hints from other people that they like me, but I just don't have any clue whether or not they like me, and I really am getting tired of trying to listen to people who have no clue what they're talking about when they say that someone likes me. Any suggestions on how I can figure it out for myself without asking them straight out or asking their friends or mine?
(link)
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Sorry, but the only way to really do this correctly is to just ask him out. Messing around with this "Does he like me? Are there little signs?" crap is one of the biggest problems with relationships today. Honestly nobody will care if you ask him out and he's not interested. It might sting for a moment, but it'll over then. Besides, it's quite possible that he does. Just be honest with people and expect honesty in return. Don't try to constantly guess at hidden meanings and send vague signals. It's not good for anyone.
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