Hello, I genuinely like helping others by giving advice out to others.
My intrests are in psychology/mental health but I do like giving out advice on other areas like family/friendship/womens health and just general life advice. Feel free to message me!
E-mail: tigz_285@yahoo.co.uk
Gender: Female
Location: UK
Member Since: March 27, 2012
Answers: 79
Last Update: October 25, 2021
Visitors: 8330
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My bestfriend left in 10th grade and I got into a group of friends it was fine for a while until I felt like I was getting more and more picked on. From getting my head pushed, grabbing my shoes and I ran after them with my socks wet, grabbing my phone and texting people without my permission, always being the target and more. Now I am in 12 grade and am so happy that we are staying home cause in 11th grade I would have mental breakdowns every week cause I felt so lost and stuck cause the person who was the key to all of this knew I have social anxiety and cant just up and leave to a different friend group so I felt like this person was taking advantage of that. I told myself that I would wait until graduation and cut them off but now I feel fake...and I feel fake to myself cause every time this person wants to talk to me I really really don't want to cause I know this person is going to try to find anything to pick on me about. And yet I force myself to respond cause I'm scared of the possibility that to we might go back to school in May and I really don't want drama I just want to leave this friendship. I am especially nervous if we do go back in May cause I don't know what this person is going to do. This person is very impulsive and might lash out and that the last thing I want. This person recently started to comment more on my story's and Instagram photo I believe he/she knows I am getting distant. Like today he/she messaged me saying how its almost my birthday. Once I saw that message my anxiety increased so much and I was about to breakdown. And the thing is, is that every time this person would be nice to me like once in a while I would rethink everything which has really took a toll on my mental health. I keep debating with myself. On one hand I really don't want to respond and want to end and I feel fake and cause I told myself I will never again put myself in that situation again but on the other hand I'm like just wait until graduation and you never have to see this person ever again. Idk..Idk..I feel so lost and suck please I need advice! (link)
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These people are NOT your friends, they are toxic and bullying you. They are taking advantage of you because of your social anxiety and manipulating you. This is not what friends do. You should not be made to feel like this and you should not feel as though you are fake because it’s them with the problem not you. Please do not think that you are the problem when it is not. This is hurting you so much that your mental health is suffering and no one deserves that treatment that these so called “friends” are giving you.
My advice would be to end it now, leave and stay away from them. Do not wait until graduation because you will be waiting for a long time and by then you will probably have a breakdown and your mental health will suffer so much more than it already has. Please do not fall for them trying to be nice to you because it is likely that they are manipulating you into staying in that friendship group. They will probably keep doing that so do not fall for it. Cut all contact and set all of your social media profiles to private and if necessary, block them.
Is there someone you can talk to about this? maybe a guidance counsellor or a teacher you can trust? I know how hard it is to make friends when you have social anxiety but do not let that hold you back. You will eventually find friends, good friends that are nice and friendly not like the ones you have now. I know you may feel you need to stay with them because you feel like you can not talk to anyone and make new friends. I had a toxic friend who I stayed with because I thought I was not going to find any other friends but I learnt that staying in that toxic friendship was not good for me and my mental health. They will wear you down just like they did to me. It is better to get out now than stay with people like that. I eventually found friends I could trust and so can you.
There is also help available for social anxiety and I would suggest talking to your primary care doctor about the ways in which they can help you. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) can be helpful to those with social anxiety and it might be something that you could look into. Good luck with everything.
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Rating: 5
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Thank you very much for all your help!
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