about

< I am a Christian and I am a mother >
Hello all. I am a 36 year old married mother of three boys. I have my degree in Forensic psychology and business management- human resources, I work in social services while juggling my three children and a marriage. When I originally joined this community I was excited to get back into what I love and that is helping people through listening, understanding, and guidance. However I quickly found that through my desire to help others, others are helping me. I have found my advice column beyond rewarding. I have found myself getting extremely passionate about each and every question that I read and respond to. The more the questions the greater the connection I have found between people of all walks of life, ages groups, races, gender, and religion. What I have found to be our greatest bind is love. Love for others and the love of being loved.

advice

well i been heartbroken over this guy named josiah for 4-5 years, we were close and almost dated. he led me on and used me til didnt need me anymore, and is my first love, kiss who lost virginity to etc. we ent from talking alot flirting etc to all sudden it stopped. idk why still, and foundout from someone that is married now. i tried sending a friend request on facebook, playing it off as dont have these feelings still, but denied request but didnt block. want talk to him so badly, as did have a miscarriage of his child and never griefed properly as kept it from my family cause they lecture me about having feelings for him tho thats not something i can help , tried everything i could think of to move on, and now in a relationship with lance, who treats me like queen do care for just not as much as do josiah. he knows had thing for him in past, as told him how he hurted me badly emotionally dont think it was intentional tho cuase he's best guy i ever knew before lance. what should i do? and want make my current relationship work though im just settling for lance since cannot have josiah like we were...

I don't think Lance is the one who will bring you past Josiah. Having such strong lingering feelings for Josiah yet trying to fill the void with Lance is really not fair to either one of you. I understand it's a painful and very difficult situation but to drag someone else through this just isn't right. Knowing how much you are hurting I'm sure you wouldn't want to hurt someone else. Okay, I'm wondering if Josiah's wife has access to his FB account and that's why he wasn't able to accept your request. But I also think the reason you were not blocked is either because his wife wants to keep an eye on you and see what's going on in your life or he is still interested in what's going on in your life. You said that you just heard he was married I'm wondering if he might also have a child on the way. Let's look past all this for your own sanity. You deserve happiness and a relationship with someone you genuinely love and who loves you as well. You need to let Lance move on and open your heart up to other options. Perhaps some time as a single person just enjoying life with your friends would be the best thing right now. Let your heart mend so you can give another person a fair chance at true love with you. You'll never get to that point if you continue to worry about your ex. I promise you the time will come where the right man will sweep you off your feet and make you forget all about "what's his name again". You'll even laugh at yourself and the time you wasted. I wonder if it's even more about the chase. I know in my own past experiences I just knew for certainty I was so in love with someone. However, as soon as I "got the guy" my feelings quickly left. I learned a lot about myself when I was younger that I enjoyed the chase or challenge of it all. I wasn't doing it or feeling this way purposefully but subconsciously I suppose. You may be the same way and not even realize it.

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(Rating: 5) thanks for the advice come accept i will always love josiah or least part of me will and like lance alot too, so gonna see where it goes and yes wouldnt hurt anyone intentionally especially way i have been.
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