Member Since: March 19, 2010
Answers: 58
Last Update: December 12, 2014
Visitors: 5384
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Hi,
I'm a 25 year old Female, who is having difficulties with my boyfriend. We haven't had an easy start to our relationship, and it's not good now as well. I met my boyfriend, who's 27, at my work. We flirted for about a year (I moved away and came back during that time period) and after a year I wanted something more serious. I told him I wanted to be with him and date, he said he just wanted to take it slow and see where it went. Meanwhile I overheard he was flirting with other girls at work as well. So, I didn't put much investment into him seeing that he wasn't ready. I met someone who did try to court me, and made me feel like he genuinely wanted to be with me. When my now boyfriend saw that, he then decided that he wanted to be with me. I stopped seeing the other fellow and dating my current boyfriend. If I told you all the ups and downs of our relationship I would be here all night. The gist of it is that, I haven't felt like he has ever put in that effort to date me, to make me feel special. I mean yes, he takes me to movies and dinners which is wonderful. But he doesn't put effort into making our relationship original or special. He is on his phone or iPad all the time when we are together. I feel incredibly bored, and I make a point to not be on my phone... But it comes to a point where I am so bored with the non communication that I give in. Recently I got a job in another city, I asked him to come with me. He was unsure about going for 6 months... As I looked for jobs, found apartments, planned the move. He was uninvolved for the process. And even to this day he had told me that he was unsure about moving until the day of... After we had signed the lease, and packed things up! So we have been here two months, and everything has gone wrong. I hate my job, I don't like the city we are in, and our relationship is as bad as ever. He said a week ago that he "made up his mind that he wants to be with me" and is trying. I guess he is but is buying flowers and trying to cuddle with me really trying. Sadly I feel like it is too late. I just feel exhausted with everything, especially our relationship. I feel numb. I told him that I don't think I feel romantically attached to him and that I don't think we should live together. He flips out on me and saying how I'm bailing (I guess I am in a sense) on him, and how he moved here for me. We've had these discussions for weeks now. He has a drinking issue, and tonight he came home drunk and proceeded to tell me how selfish I am and how I'm a "fucking bitch". Am I being a "selfish bitch" ? Should I put more effort in it, or when do you throw in the towel? (link)
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Wow. This sounds like something I just went through.
My advice: GET OUT OF THE RELATIONSHIP NOW. Especially before you get married or end up pregnant with the man.
If he has a drinking issue, it's going to get worse. I learned the hard way.
The BEST decision I've made is to leave the man's sorry ass. Meanwhile, I'm back in my hometown, getting healthy, losing weight, lining up job interviews.
PLEASE GET OUT OF THAT RELATIONSHIP. IT WON'T DO YOU ANY GOOD. IT'LL JUST DO YOU HARM.
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Rating: 5
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Thank you! I left him and I thank you for being the one who made it possible! If you weren't here on this site I probably would have died in that relationship in the next year I can see that clearly now that I am outside of it looking in. Thank you again!
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